All it takes is a moment of weakness to crack the ice palace of isolation that depressive me craves. That moment likely came on the job site in early October 2020, when I contracted Covid-19 in a moment of weakness where I dull wittedly chose not to wear a mask at an open house.
I hope NONE of you ever get a case of this disease. You don’t have to go to an ER to have a bad case. But mine was “Mild”. Continued working through the first part, until the coughing did not abate and I realized I lost my sense of smell. Meanwhile, I started having serious breathing issues. I self-isolated. Got my positive test back on October 16, and it crippled me in bed. I didn’t leave the room for three weeks. I literally couldn’t! Reality has entered the kingdom again, and the spiraling down to a deep depression could begin.
• Anna has a manic psychosis to see her sister at all costs. Including climbing the cliff, when it is so obviously clear she cannot.
• Kristoff is having trust issues again, and Anna isn’t helping by being in a mania. Kristoff is criticizing the mania incorrectly. It just sets off arguments and defensiveness from Anna. Anna is the smartest one in the room with mania – her “plan” is fantasy but to her it is above reproach.
• It takes an Olaf (notice he is a sneaky underrated recurring character) that knows how to tactfully handle the situation. Offer a manic person alternative suggestions that still work within their idea. COLLABORATE, and embrace their aha inspiration but be ready to offer alternatives. If that doesn’t work, the above will happen.
• Notice “crazy trust exercise”. Anna in a mania has no boundaries or guardrails. She already trusts Kristoff, and by her acknowledging and listening to Olaf, Kristoff reciprocates.
• Again, Olaf is keeping it real with Anna at the door, who is the insecure manic person.
• Manic people often discard their guardrails and boundaries. Kristoff (who is totally impressed with the craft of Elsa) and Olaf were the guardrails left behind. SHE EVEN ACKNOWLEDGES A PREVIOUS MANIC PLAN WAS BAD! *mind blown*
• Manic Anna wakes up and sees what a healed Elsa can do. She thinks that Elsa is now ready for the outside world. This is me in “Denial Rabbit Hole” near the end. And the literal argument I had with myself about contacting [my friends] versus staying in isolation. I was afraid of the hurt and the regret, just like Elsa. Better to stay queen of the isolation castle.
• Anna and Elsa are trying to heal past trauma to prepare for coming out of isolation. Depressive Elsa hasn’t gone through and processed the grief of trauma yet. BAD IDEA. She wants to stay in isolation. Anna is DESPERATE for them to work together to heal the trauma to get me back out there.
• But one event (me catching Covid) enters the chat. It shatters the isolation bubble, and leads to EVEN MORE TRAUMA.
• Notice this sets up the next duet that is an immediate depressive spiral Elsa goes into at that life changing event, and how she injures Anna and sets up more guardrails and boundaries to prevent the two from working together to heal the past trauma. That’s what it was like for me in Fall of 2020.