My girlfriend and I have been having a discussion about the idea of apocalypse. She is a Native American. I am the descendant of Russian Jews. Both of our cultures have in some ways been lost due to separate genocides. Genocides that are apocalypses. She has identified as a culture bearer all her life. In the time I’ve known her, I’ve come to understand what that means, and today, I broke and wrote this:
MOURNING PHASE
Post-apocalypse
Is trending again
How’s your
Adventure going?
I am still in mourning
For what I lost in the pogroms
And then again
In the 1940s
Born with flowers in my hair
I came of age to grunge music
I wore these skins as proxies
For a missing root connection
And so I mourn for borscht
And songs and language
I mourn for confidence
Purpose and legacy
I mourn for the time
I have lost getting here
I know I must find it—
My pre-apocalypse