Effectively cued by US Rep Jamie Raskin (D-MD), the Ballad of Big Blonder is something to sing about- albeit sardonically. (See below.)
Steeped in Constitutional law, battling lymphoma, no doubt still behind on his sleep from having penned (by the midnight oil) the riveting bestseller Unthinkable: Trauma, Truth, and the Trials of American Democracy, Raskin decries the Teflon Donald in no uncertain terms (viz. “’He’s like a mob boss…,’” The Guardian).
So. For an upbeat-AND-unflinching take on our still-festering, Trump-inflicted wounds, with a nod to songwriters Tom Kelly and Billy Steinberg (hint: their version involves “virgin”), maestro, please cue “Like A Mob Boss.”
I made it through impeachment,
Somehow I made it through.
Then I set my crazy sights on a J6 coup.
They indict? I will fight.
Now my foes lie awake at night-
‘Cause I made ‘em an offer,
Yeah I made ‘em an offer, they can’t refuse!
CHORUS: Like a mob boss/Lord of disorganized crime.
Like a mob boss/Hoping not to do hard time.
Gonna give you all the finger.
See what you put me through!
If you kill my deja-coup, you know I will sue.
I took docs; I’m in hock.
I can’t stop, so I must stay bold
‘Cause the law found out
Yeah, the law found out about the stuff that I stole!
(REPEAT CHORUS)
Win-or-coup, I can’t lose.
I’m the King; we are not amused!
‘Cause we still have ways; oh, we still have ways
To give the Devil his due!
(REPEAT CHORUS)
OUTRO: Like a mob boss, ooh-ooh like a mob boss.
On your knees you go.
When I threaten, you can reckon, I’m in heaven.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (etc.).
Up the creek, up the river for the very first time….
Parody lyrics copyright 2023 John McQueen.
Dedicated to Rep Raskin. His family. Tom Lehrer. And our still-besieged nation.