Stump speech, any district, 2024
"My friends, as Americans, we have always differed in our views of how this great country should be governed..
“Some think the well-off should pay more to support those less fortunate, others feel differently. Some prefer more pro-active policies, while others believe government should do less. As a democratic republic, we've always found compromises to our differences, however unpleasant many have been.
"But now we have arrived at a curious point in our history, when one of our main political parties has apparently decided that the United States government can do nothing at all. Literally nothing. They can't pass a budget. They can't pass legislation. They can't even elect their own Speaker.
"You may never have voted for a Democrat before, and I respect that. Before now, there were always sincere, competent Republicans whose policies you may have preferred.
"Sadly, there are no more Republicans running. Only Republican'ts.
"This year, I ask you consider voting for a Democrat. It may be a small brag, but at least we can do our damned jobs.
"Republican'ts. Just. Can't."