The nip in the air reminds us that, once again, that special time of year approaches, when the baby Jesus flies his sleigh around the world to give out chocolate eggs to the good boys and girls (and by “good” I mean, of course, Christian boys and girls.) So here is a little poem for you Kossacks that I hope will help you get into the spirit of the season:
Christian Heroes Every Child Should Know: Number One
This is the story of Saint Swithins of Swagger
who slew 90 heathens without drawing his dagger.
When assailed by old women and their blood-curdling cries,
he hacked them all down, with a gleam in his eyes.
When the children ran, he chopped off their limbs,
never ceasing a moment his singing of hymns.
He served Lord Jesus that day very well,
for he sent 90 heathen souls down to Hell
and remained a good Christian, since he bore them no malice;
he just mounted their heads on pikes in his palace.