Against the Church Totalitarian
... suffering is the sole origin of consciousness. ... man prizes it and would not give it up for any satisfaction.
Dostoevsky, Notes from the Underground
That this is true we can hardly dispute
Since disputing it would prove it’s true.
We cling to consciousness to boast we’re human
Even as we consciously dehumanize
Any and all who look or smell different.
Irony is a useless tactic here
Since it presumes a critical consciousness
Aware of its own selfish injustices,
Far too much to ask of those addicted
To playing god whenever it suits them.
Inflicting suffering empties humans
Of everything but the tormenter’s face
Which then becomes the icon of the church
Totalitarian for which no sacrifice
Is enough to redeem them for being alive.
But having been born, you should not follow
Sophocles who suggests the next best thing
Is to die soon — how could the church then exploit
Your life and labor for its conclusion
Of world dominion by the wealthy few?
True, I haven’t abandoned irony,
As you can see, I’m still suffering,
Like all of us, conscious of my love —
But don’t look to me, I belong to no church,
Look to yourself, your I can, no I con.
R. Allen Shoaf