So, Snopp Dog is giving up “smoke.” Next we’ll be seeing the Pope giving up religion for Lent.
“I want to take a break from all this religion stuff I’ve been doing for decades. Kind of stretch my legs, if you know what I mean. Not sure what I’ll do during the time off. I’m too old for skateboarding, but there is always pickleball, I guess.”
“I’ve been feeling it’s time to expand my world a bit. And I’m a bit tired of everyone asking me to pray for them. Time might be right for them to do a little heavy lifting directly to my Supervisor. I need some relief from the stress.”
“Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know if Snopp Dogg would have a spare joint, would you? Kinda figure that maybe with his finding God on that weed sobriety thing he might have a bud or two lying around.”
"Could make a trade, wine for the mary jane, and I could throw in some white crackers. Hey, I think I just made a joke there that the Dogg might find amusing. They’d have to be unconsecrated, of course, can’t give up the good stuff that easily. He’d have to consent to start doing the four-point turn we do with our hands, and a way bunch more, before I could lay the really good graces on him.”
Snopp Dogg, by his own past admission, said he averaged 75 to 150 joints a day. He was rolling coal like an incinerator set to Mordor. I have to wonder, were those pre-rolled or was he doing the finger-dance of rolling his own? I mean, as a self-made millionaire he could have someone just roll them for him full time, kind of like a marijuana masseur kneading the leaf of relief.
But, damn, that is a lot of pot to smoke. I don’t think Gandalf was piping that much, and you know how fantasy land he could be, and the tar alone in Snopp Dogg’s THC intake could asphalt one of Trump’s egos, which could look nice in horizontal stripping of black and white.
The AP had a story here at DK about the Dogg’s announcement and how he had an endorsement with BIC, the cigarette lighter manufacturer, for a lighter. I thought the name was a little bland, Best Buds Bags. With the amount of pot Snoop Dogg’s smoked it should have been called The Eternal Flame or Flicka the Flame Thrower.
That article went on to say his fans were ruminating as to whether he was just talking about abstaining from only the leaf and could possibly partake of marijuana derivatives, like oils, gummies, brownies and things of that nature.
If it’s oils, Houston will have to slap together another thousand acre refinery. I’m putting in my application for a quality control gig. As for the gummies, well, one of the ingredients is corn starch, so corn prices will shoot up. You’ll be buying theater popcorn with corn futures contracts on the Globex market. Pan brownies? Yeah, flat bed trailers being off loaded from Mississippi river barges.
And if he is dropping pot altogether, regardless of the form, what’s next? He and Corona part ways? Heck, he’s a major endorser of theirs, the brand could take a nosedive. The lime industry could take a big hit. Pot. Beer. Limes. What’s next, dropping rap for a revival of A Prairie Homey Companion? Great, we’ll have Lake Wobebong tales. Just thrilling. Not.
He was the OG of prodigious pot smoking for the more aged of us, the flagship of oldsters one-hitting. My state legalized pot a few years ago, so it was nice to partake once again without getting my senior photo taken as a set of mugshots. Now he’s exhaling for the last time?! He’s the liberals’ Bud Lite now, so it’s not tune in, drop out and turn on, but dropping out, tuning out and turning off.
This stuff is going to have repercussions.