Sometimes despair falls on you, gently and softly like an inverted snowstorm of dusky, shadowy flakes, silently accumulating in the mind. These flakes do not reflect the light; they absorb it; slowly stealing away all color and texture. As the layers build, they swallow everything beneath the gathering weight of one tiny, dark, almost imperceptible icy, geometrically perfect crystalline shape after another.
The bold feelings of hope and joy, love and passion congeal, freezing the mind, spirit and body; lethargy blankets everything. Nothing and nobody matters for now all has submerged under the void within the suffocating glacier. Pain and exhaustion overcome every effort and it feels the only choice is to let yourself drift into the embrace of endless, icy sleep.
Many do so; never emerging into spring, experiencing the thaw that may come should one choose to persevere. Others do feel the painful, dangerous thaw and gradually see light and color return. Nobody can truly say what differentiates those who eventually stumble into the sun, out of the storm from those who disappear; we truly do not know what lies deep in the minds of others and it is foolish vanity to think otherwise. Judgement is wasted on both the living and dead; better to help others where and when able and to build your own shelters that allow any reprieve in those lethally silent internal storms.
I know little, but I do know that to live is to experience suffering at one time or another and that kindness and love increase the chances of surviving those times. Not kindness and love given to you; but kindness and love given by you when you are able and can find those who will not abuse the gifts you offer.
I wish for you what I wish for myself: peace, love, opportunities to grow and learn, enough income to not live in fear, friends, family (whether biological of one’s own choosing) and joy in nature and the life all around us.