UPDATE: Saturday, Feb 18, 2023 · 6:03:16 PM +00:00
·
Liberal in a Red State
UPDATE 2: I had a really good conversation about this diary with my husband last night. He is a former hardcore Catholic who has fully deconstructed, albeit much later in life than me. We discussed why there is such disconnect between Christians and Atheists and why so many Christians get very upset and defensive when their ideology and worldview is even slightly challenged or dismissed by non-believers. I will try to summarize it here.
Most Christians consider themselves to be very good people by definition of being Christian. They think being a Christian is a virtuous thing that everyone should proudly aspire to be. The reality is that to be a mainstream Christian, you must adhere to many beliefs including these core baseline beliefs:
1. Your God is the real one, the one and only true God.
2. Your God created Heaven and Hell. Everyone on the planet, believers and non-believers alike, must go to one or the other when they die. You have so called, “free will” to pick. It’s easy, just believe in and do as their God commands or you’re going to hell.
3. If you don’t accept God, Jesus as your Lord and Savior, or if you commit other “sins” like divorce or sex before marriage, abortion, being gay, insert your church’s “sin of the week” here, you are automatically going to Hell to be tortured for all eternity and you will deserve that torture. Meaning your God is pro-torture and so are you.
The reality is that these baseline beliefs of the Christian ideology are not loving, are not virtuous, and are not kind. They are in fact very arrogant, very mean, very cruel, very narcissistic and the mere concept of hell is shockingly sadistic and sociopathic.
Moreover, Christians don’t approach religion like, “Because I am a Christian, heaven and hell and the rules on how to get there only apply to believers like me”. That would be benevolent, you do you.
No, to the contrary, they have colonized their religion around the globe, weaponized it, making laws to enforce it, insisting that their God is the real one, Heaven and Hell are real, and if anyone who doesn’t convert and believe is going to hell and will deserve it.
That is a massive amount of negative and narcissistic energy they automatically bring to bear upon all the non-believers around them, as well as to people of other faiths.
But most Christians lack the introspection and self-awareness to see that they are showing up in life bringing all that baggage with them. Many are very nice people who blindly, cheerfully gaslight us by saying, “God is love” and we are over here with our eyes wide, aghast seeing all the baggage of their religion, saying, “Like hell he is! Your dude isn’t real and if he is, he is clearly a manipulative monster!”
Many followers might be good people, many of the supposed teachings of Jesus are indeed loving and liberal, but the baseline foundation of the religion is deeply and very problematic.
But most Christians are completely unaware of it or refuse to see the obvious. Most refuse to even consider an outsider’s perspective because that introspection and critical thinking might lead to their own deconstruction.
That’s my husband’s and my two cents. Peace and love to all.
UPDATE: Friday, Feb 17, 2023 · 8:20:53 PM +00:00 · Liberal in a Red State
UPDATE: I have seen several comments that the accusations of “faith shaming” in VetWife’s diary were not intended to imply that it was Atheists who were the ones “faith shaming” Christians. That she was not calling out Atheists. That I completely misunderstood her words, that I got it wrong.
I confess, I did not see the previous diaries that upset her and led to her diary, so I apologize if I do not have full context to the comments that upset her.
However, I have been an Atheist for decades, long enough to know the dog whistle of the words “faith shaming” and the well-known, loaded implications that come with that phrase. I know who typically gets accused of doing that.
To me, from my knowledge base, it read very clearly that she was implying that Atheists had been the ones “faith shaming” Christians and she was upset about it, calling us out, blaming us for being the problem.
If I misunderstood or misinterpreted her words, and that isn’t what she meant by “faith shaming”, if in fact she was saying “Christians need to stop faith shaming other Christians”, then my apologies. But without that clarification, I had no other context other than she was pointing her finger at Atheists and non-believers.
This is an expansion of my comment on VetWife’s diary accusing us Atheists of “faith shaming” Christians.
As a GenX Atheist in Georgia, who was indoctrinated into Christianity as a child and escaped from it as a teenager, I can honestly say that President Carter is the finest example of an actual kind, good, humble, decent, benevolent Christian that I have ever witnessed in my 53 years on this earth. Hands down, bar none, he’s the best Christian I have ever seen, and I have seen a lot of Christians.
If far more Christians conducted themselves half as noble, kind, and humbly as Jimmy Carter does, there would be no need for another “Christian persecution complex” diary like hers because even non-believers would be marveling at how wonderfully kind and benevolent Christians are.
But let’s be really honest, the vast majority of Christians, from across the spectrum of the religion, across the hundreds of denominations, do not even begin to come close to conducting themselves half as honorable, noble and kind as President Carter, even on their very best Sundays when everyone in church is watching them.
If “good, kind, loving, liberal” Christians like VetWife ever walked a mile in an Atheist’s shoes in the United States of America, particularly in the Bible Belt South, she would be asking her fellow Christians to do better, rather than demanding Atheists do better.
She would turn her words to her fellow Christians and ask them to make more room for non-believers. Her words would be full of kindness and empathy for us, saying we have every right to be hurt, scared, and angry at Christians and Christianity in general.
Her diary wouldn’t be a defensive, angry rant, scolding us Atheists, accusing us of “faith shaming” but rather she would be a much more humble, kinder example of her religion as President Carter is.
In doing so, she would lead with kindness, empathy, grace, and compassion for Atheists. She would be gracious in understanding how hard it must be for non-believers in this country as increasingly hard-core conservative Christian religion is forced upon us with terrifying speed.
She would understand that is why we are sounding the alarm, freaking out, and pushing back on religion harder than ever.
She would apologize to us non-believers on behalf of her religion. She would know that the conservative brand of Christianity which is increasingly toxic, radical, aggressive, and weaponizing their collective religion against entire groups, is giving their entire religion a very bad reputation.
She would have enough self awareness to see the root of the problem is within her religion itself and the increased criticism from outsiders is a normal and reasonable reaction.
She would understand why we are hurt, angry and scared of all Christians.
She would have empathy that many of us have been directly harmed and personally traumatized by the Christian religion, which always evades accountability.
That just like many women are scared of “all men” because we don’t know which ones are the dangerous predator ones, many of us Atheists are scared of “all Christians” because we can’t tell which ones are the good ones or the bad ones. Moreover, the “good ones” appear to be losing the ideological battle. And even the “good ones” post defensive screeds like her diary.
But no. Here we go again, another so called Liberal Christian devoid of self-reflection, wagging her finger, scolding and ranting at Atheists, here in this safe community, for daring to push back on religion as the walls of Christian Nationalism close in on us all.
Christians need to please understand that this is a very big country, we don’t go to your local church with you which happens to be “one of the good + kind churches”, so we can’t tell if you are a benevolent “Good Christian” or not.
As Christians, liberal or conservative, you are all members of the same religion that has gone completely off the rails and is currently enabling the rise of right-wing Christian nationalism and fascism, stripping all women and trans people of our own rights.
Many Christians have yet to step back for a moment to see that we non-believers are the minority group in America and our lives are in danger and unsafe from your religion. We are the ones being forced to conform to your Christian ideology, your Christian laws and it is deeply frightening.
Her very defensive diary is another example of how Christians are so privileged, they see any and every criticism as a personal attack on their faith, or as she puts it “faith shaming”.
In reality, the best way to stop “faith shaming” is for people of faith to stop shaming everyone who doesn’t believe as they do, to stop telling us that we are going to hell for not believing.
And before anyone comments, “I didn’t nor would I ever threaten you with hell”, um, you don’t have to because your religion does it for you.
And before someone comments, “My local church doesn’t preach that non-believers are going to hell if they don’t accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior.” Well, get out of your private, privileged bubble because the church across the street, down the street, and on every other corner in your town and across the nation sure as hell preaches that hate-filled fear-mongering message from their pulpits.
By definition, the core foundation of the Christian faith is that there is a heaven and a hell and everyone, Christian or not, is going to one or the other. So take your pick, “it’s your free will”.
The complete lack of self awareness it takes for a Christian to go off on non-believers and accuse us of “shaming” them when the cornerstone of your entire religion is shaming is quite impressive.
Yes, I agree with her point that we need to unite, we need to work together, we need to support and be kind to each other regardless of faith or no faith. The Democratic party is a very big tent.
However, liberal Christians must be honest and have some self reflection of where the root of the problem resides.
Christians are all members of the super majority of ideology in the United States of America.
You are not the ones being persecuted.
You are not the ones being bullied.
You are not the ones being shamed.
And choosing to be loyal, devoted members of that supermajority “club”, it is incumbent upon all Christians to first look inward and ask your fellow Christians to please do better.
We know that conservative Christians will never do that, which makes it more important than ever for liberal Christians to rise to the occasion and do the hard, reflective, humbling self work.
It’s important that Christians acknowledge that the loudest voices in your “club” are all the conservative Republican members of your club, and they are trashing the entire brand of your club.
They are drowning out the Jimmy Carters who are in your club because quite frankly, the Jimmy Carters of the world, the good, kind, decent, open-minded, kind-hearted people are leaving your club and becoming non-believers. It is a self-fulfilling loop leaving your religion to the worst among you.
Moreover, please don’t get so defensive over the inevitable criticism about your “club” which, to be honest, is doing some very bad things right now just as they have for centuries.
Please take some personal responsibility and ownership for the problems of the members within your club rather than punching down on Atheists and accuse us of being the problem.
We are exhausted and are just pointing out the problems with your club. If you stay in the club, you become part owner of the problems.
If you stay in the club, you are agreeing to be defined by the actions of the worst members of your club. You don’t get a free pass saying “my chapter of the club is nice so don’t dare criticize the club.”
We Atheists are not the problem and we are tired of staying silent.