Respect. Rodney Dangerfield lamented that he couldn’t get it. Aretha Franklin pleaded for just a little bit of it. It’s universal. We all want it. We all know the pain and humiliation of its absence and the satisfaction of getting it.
While respect is a cloth woven of many colors, there is a common binding thread: We all yearn to be listened to and valued by the folks from whom respect is due: family, friends, and the people who have the power to influence our lives, such as our bosses and government officials. For too many of us, there's not enough of the respect we crave and feel we deserve. That dearth of respect drives American politics.
While the reaction is visceral, it’s not just perception. It is a rational response to the condition of life in twenty-first-century America. When we can’t fully enjoy the fruits of our labor, when no one seems to get or care about how hard we work or struggle to make a decent life; When what we do have appears to be threatened, it's all taken as a sign of lack of respect–from others, and often for ourselves.
We take it personally because the dominant value in the United States is that everyone should be able to make it on their own. As a result, too many of us have accepted lamentations and pleas for respect as our only options. Those reactions are unsatisfying, so with just a little prompting, resentment resulting in either anger or depression are the next available but ultimately unproductive emotions.
Today’s Republicans understand people’s response to the lack of respect they feel they deserve and use it with exceptional talent. Democrats, not so much.
Precisely because it avoids challenge to power, Republicans lean into resentment, especially of the racist variety. They abhor the next option: Multiracial unity and organizing to demand change. However, Republicans proffer a dual message personal responsibility paired with blaming others. The former means that if you or others can't make it is a personal failing. Since no one wants to feel that way if they can help it, Republicans couple it powerfully with blaming others for the absence of respect. The blame game varies from the claim that elitist Democrats look down on common folk to insinuating that helping everyone will come at the expense of white Americans. The essential Republican mantra is "their" economic or social gains come at the price of your loss. Based on this worldview, one person's religion gets perceived as a denial of another's. Homosexual relations viewed as an attack on heterosexual ones. Such is the toxic Republican mix that drives rampant resentment and anger.
Inaction is the point because the fundamental source of disrespect is inequity. And, Republicans represent inequity's beneficiaries.
For Democrats, who value a full decent life for all, the unqualified respect message must be, "You deserve a great education, healthcare, a clean, sustainable environment, decent affordable housing, and a sufficient fair wage. You deserve security and some leisure time. These are the features of respect. These are your rights." That unambiguously respectful message must not be constrained by, "Only, if we can afford it." It's not framed by, "If you work hard and play by the rules." It's not limited by, "We can’t have it all, so at least let's just help the needy." All these restrictive ways of talking about how the resources of our society should be distributed lead to the resentful, “Can’t I get some respect? What about me?” When daily life is precarious, "I can't get no respect," isn't a comedian's punch line. It is a driver of anger without a resolution. To continue, if not expand, the ways that the United States has come to support people’s needs, organizers for economic and social justice and Democrats need to stop talking about benefits and start talking about rights. A plea for benefits conveys weakness, if not humiliation, not respect. In contrast, a demand to fulfill due rights conveys respect. With all due respect, let’s start demanding rights.
Arthur H. Camins is a lifelong educator. He writes about education and social justice. He works part-time with curriculum developers at UC Berkeley as an assessment specialist. He has taught and been an administrator in New York City, Massachusetts, and Louisville, Kentucky. The ideas expressed in this article are his alone.
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