A general gloom has enshrouded hell.
Although it is commonly considered a gloomy place, it has taken on an even darker pallor as of late. Satan’s number one advocate has been neutered. Tucker Carlson, who for years has gleefully spewed hate and vitriol, has lost his most visible platform. After years of dutifully putting voice to all of Satan’s aspirations and inclinations, Tucker Carlson’s nightly hour of enmity is off the air.
Spine-chilling lamentations could be heard emanating from the deepest bowels of the underworld at the news. The overwhelming sadness was spreading like a brimstone fire. Hair pulling and hand wringing ensued. Satan actually wept.
In response, Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham have vowed to carry on Satan’s important work of undermining decency and spreading grievance, vitriol and duplicity. Nevertheless, sadness still prevailed because they are considered but pale reflections of Tucker himself. In an attempt to be reassuring, and lighten the mood, Sean and Laura have promised to step up their game.
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