Today I felt like I had a balanced day. I published another journal (other than this one), I planted some pigeon pea trees with my friends in one of their backyards, I secured a job at dollar general (I need something easy while I study for my engineering license exam), I picked up some free tables to use for canvassing events, and cute wooden crates to sell plants out of at my weekly local market, I responded to some political involvement emails, left a good review of the vegan options at a Chinese takeout place, planted some nasturtium seeds, and watched a documentary with my friends.
It’s been a week since I finished engineering school. Getting this degree was long and challenging and it’s over now. I did it. The most valuable thing I’ve learned from school is that everyone has the capacity to learn, people learn at different rates, and for me learning happens best when I have the best mental health and that happens when I have a balance in my life. If I feel like I’m not doing enough of one thing or too much of another, I feel bad. There were times when all I had going on was my classes, and during those times I felt stressed, had idle time, and when I looked at my books all I felt was loom. I started taking fewer classes at a time and not limiting the amount of time I spend on activism, music, and other creative outlets. I learned that I’m never going to get the dopamine that I get from activism from anywhere else, especially not school.
I need to be an activist in order to be fulfilled, and in order to get anything else done, because being an activist is my wildest fantasy. Seeing something that needs to be changed and making it happen, that’s success to me. Right to Clean Water has been my outlet for that this year, and my number one priority, but one day, something else will become the holder of my attention.
Activism has to be the first priority because it is my number one source of good brain chemicals. Gardening works, but I don’t always have clients, or a friend’s backyard at my disposal. Painting is nice, but setting up and tearing down wears down my good brain chemicals. Higher education/studying is important to me but is too long of a runway to provide the dopamine I need right in this moment. Singing gives me great brain chemicals but I have nothing to show for it when I’m done, less the few times I’ve sat down and worked on full songs with people. Writing gives me great brain chemicals; feelings of confidence and clarity; feelings of being heard and finding resolve, even if I just save it to my google files and never share it with anyone. This one can never be the ultimate source of brain chemicals as I have to have something to write about. Writing is a complementary task.
This is how I balance my life. If I only did activism, I’m sure that might start to feel like a chore, and it has. When I ran for state Senate I had very little balance in life. I put my degree on hold, I quit my job. My one goal was winning the state Senate seat, and telling everyone that they don’t have a legal right to clean water but they should. During that time I felt the same burdening stress I’ve felt from school when that was my only priority.
Why am I writing this? Maybe you feel stressed, maybe there are areas of your life you are neglecting, maybe you need to reevaluate what you deem success. For me, I have found enormous quality of life points in finding balance, I feel like I’m always productive, I feel like I’m less productive when I try to focus on just one thing. If your feeling like you want more out of life, maybe write down some things that you like doing, some things that you want to accomplish long term, and some things that you want to accomplish short term. Revisit that list every day and do something relating to each category each day, no matter how small.
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