UPDATE: Wednesday, Jul 12, 2023 · 3:27:38 PM +00:00
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Puck Goodfellow
Since I may not have been clear initially. This was the results of my hearing on my first appeal. I was expecting my initial application to be denied. Since it's so infamously well known that everyone's initial application is rejected.
Which, when you think about it. Is amazingly messed up. “Everyone gets rejected the first time .” Can you think of any other government agency where that would be allowed? Where they factor your age into your claim? I may have been rejected simply because I'm in my forties instead of older.
What I have been wondering is. Is the process as difficult in any other developed country? Or is this yet another example of attitudes and negative policies from America's “unique history?” Where the poorest and most vulnerable are acceptable collateral damage as long as the “wrong people “ don't get help. Of course we all know that “wrong people” is a dog whistle...
Please excuse the roughness of this Diary. It’s somewhat of an emotional topic for me, and I don’t think I can give it a polished voice without making it too… clinical.
For the last several months I’ve been waiting for the results of my Social Security Disability hearing. Now, Now I’m waiting to find out if my lawyer is going to decide to drop my case, or take it to the appeals board. Since the results were denial.
For a little perspective. An old boss of mine recently told my wife “of course he’s disabled, just look at him.”
I’ve got ADHD, Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome, Severe Asthma, Major Depression, PTSD, and I’m missing half of my pointer, middle, and ring fingers. I have chronic pain in my back from a formerly pinched nerve, An occasional limp and numbness in my legs and toes (it’s from the pinched nerve). On top of all that. Three years ago I became Diabetic. Thank goodness the medecine for Diabetes is extremely effective on me. Even with all that. I guess I don’t meet the standard of “being unable to work any full time job.” Never mind that I’ve never been able to keep a full time job for more than three months… One of my psychiatric symptoms is losing my verbal filter under stress. Or having outbursts of sudden anger and yelling.
Every day after the hearing I found myself checking the results. As each passing week, and then month ticked slowly by. I found myself getting more and more worried. Under greater and ever increasing stress. Trying to quit smoking by putting a nicotine patch on, and then ripping it off and smoking a cigarette (please no comments about the Asthma my smoking habit predates my Asthma case, and I am trying to quit).
I’m reminded of the episode of Last Week Tonight where John Oliver covered how so many states make it purposely hard to apply for benefits. Especially, Disability benefits.
I just found out a couple of days ago that it was Disability Pride month, which of course is more than a little ironic in a society as Ableist as America.