“Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art thou sociable, now art thou Romeo, now art thou what thou art, by art as well as by nature. For this driveling love is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to hide his bauble in a hole.” — Mercutio Act 2 Scene 4, Romeo and Juliet
Shakespeare wrote about the human condition. He explored the complexities of human psychology through characters who strut and fret their hour upon the stage before descending into the eternal silence of the grave. He examined envy, madness, belligerence, anger, revenge, jealousy, love, greed, aging parents, lust, drunkenness, cross-dressing, duplicity, and star-struck lovers through the lens of his writing.
Unsurprisingly there is a lot of sex. The good folk of the Hillsborough County, Fl, school district think this is a bridge too far. They have expurgated, bowdlerized, and sanitized the most acclaimed writer in the English canon — lest the impressionable youths in their charge run into something risqué. And, just like that, Tampa Bay teens will have nowhere to turn to satisfy their prurient interests — except their phones.
The Tampa Bay Times explains
School district officials said they redesigned their instructional guides for teachers because of revised state teaching standards and a new set of state exams that cover a vast array of books and writing styles.
“It was also in consideration of the law,” said school district spokeswoman Tanya Arja, referring to the newly expanded Parental Rights in Education Act. The measure, promoted and signed by Gov. Ron DeSantis, tells schools to steer clear of content and class discussion that is sexual in nature unless it is related to a standard, such as health class.
Thank God Ron DeSantis and the fair-minded folks have worked so unsparingly to ensure that nothing upsetting happens to school children in the Sunshine State. Although, some may argue that these narrow thinkers have misdirected their care for the young. Naysayers will suggest that in addition to keeping kids' minds out of the gutter, the authorities might work to keep young bodies out of the morgue with some reasonable gun laws.
So far, however, the state has done nothing to reduce the odds of another Parkland Massacre.
But back to the smut. Joseph Cool, a reading teacher at Gaither High School, explains why the authorities have censored the Bard.
“There’s some raunchiness in Shakespeare. Because that’s what sold tickets during his time.”
Who knew sex sold — besides advertisers, movie makers, streaming producers, teen magazine editors, and thousands of others taking commercial advantage of primal desires? Ripping the heart out of great literature is pointless when Americans are drowning in sex. What do these peckinsniffs think teenagers do outside of school? (Spoiler alert: Many of them are not playing board games)
In the case of Hillsborough’s blue pencilers, the cure is so much worse than the imaginary disease. They will offer the students excerpts. That is like going to a football game and watching every third play. I suppose you could make some sense of it — but where is the rhythm, the nuance, the anticipation?
The school authorities have tried to put lipstick on this pig by claiming that the new way of teaching is an improvement. The bureaucratically-named "New Benchmarks for Excellent Student Thinking" include lists of books that might be included on the state competency exam. To give students a better chance of mastering the material, the district switched to one novel and excerpts from five to seven different books, including plays.
As district spokesperson Tanya Arja explained:
“We need to make sure our students are prepared with enough material during the year so they will be prepared for their assessments,”
Sure. This great new approach to teaching the classics was student-driven and just happened to occur to the educational bureaucrats absent outside pressure? That foolishness is dishonest nonsense. Arja herself had just said the new pedagogy was in response to the state’s new “no sex” law. It will be interesting to see how many other school districts — especially those who put students first — look at the Hillsborough experiment and decide that is the way to go.
The worst aspect of this deluded policy is that it will do nothing to achieve its putatively desired end — which appears to be keeping teens ignorant about sex. It will strip students, who enjoy literature, of the full beauty and reach of some of the most sublime works ever penned — while trying to shield teens from life’s carnal reality. It is doomed to failure. As anyone who has ever been a teen should remember.
If you dumb down education, you produce morons. Florida is already below average (#28) in state academic standing. If the state's education authorities keep this up, they will challenge West Virginia for the least educated residents.
“The fool doth think he is wise” ― William Shakespeare, As You Like It