Score another one for Team D. with a high five and a fist bump—say what you might about Judge Engoron; the man doesn’t play.
Here’s the skinny:
Trump had his lawyer/lackey/side piece Christopher Kise fall prostrate in an email to Engoron's law clerk, whose name I will never mention on my stack, and asked her pretty please, with sugar on top, do me this solid and let Trump speak during closing arguments.
She floated the idea to her boss, and he entertained it.
Not common but not an unheard of request, so Engoron was like, “A’ight, bet—but here are my conditions,” to which Kise responded, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, conditions? Who said anything about conditions? Whatever happened to free speech?!”
Judge Engoron retorted, “Free speech doesn’t mean you get to go around disrupting shit and acting like an ass in public. Yuh, ain’t happening in my court, Homey don’t play dat! I am not going to allow Trump to stand in my courtroom and foam at the mouth for hours on end while creating a campaign ad!”
Crickets… until Kise came back, tugged on Engoron's robe, and whispered ever so softly and sweetly, “Oh yeah, so Melania's mother just died, you know, the woman who refuses to be in the same room with Trump for more than a minute. Can we postpone the trial until after the funeral?”
Engoron and his beleaguered and MAGA-harrassed law clerk laughed in his general direction; Engoron rolled up his sleeves and cried out, “Oh-ho—somebody wants favors! Dude, what part of Homey Don't Play Dat do you not get? We had to do lots of maneuvering to set this current date, and it would take quite a bit of heavy lifting, rearranging of schedules, and whatnot to even grant such a request this late in the game. Denied!”
This is where Kise put on sackcloth, poured some ash on the floor to wail upon, and rent his garments in lamentation, “Oh, what a world, what world—is there no decency anymore? What is life and living coming to when a rich, rapey billionaire can't get a break in an American courtroom, huh?”
The lamentations continued in the courtroom the very next day when Trump showed up, cried like a whiny little bitch, and stomped his foot until Engoron told him to zip and GTFO.
Like a petulant teen, Trump did just that, storming out of the proceedings to the grateful sighs of everyone in the space. I will not bore you with the gory details, you can glean and LOL about in the video below—MeidasTouch does an amazing, thorough breakdown of the rant, which was pretty much distilled down to WITCH HUNT! UNFAIR! ENGORON AND HIS CLERK HAVE COOTIES!
Yah know, pretty much any ALL CAPS bloviating you would find on Not-Even-Remotely-Close-2-Truth Social.
And that funeral—? Please—Trumpy can barely find where he buried Ivana on his golf course. People are probably teeing off above her as we speak. He gives two shits about Melania or her mother.
May Amalija Knavs rest in peace.
I cannot wait to see the OFM stripped of his assets; watch Trump’s sads as he is told he can no longer open a business in New York—may it be the first domino in a series that finally brings this man to justice!
The empire has fallen—Fred would be so proud.