How do you celebrate holidays when your family and friends and traditions include bits and pieces from everything and everywhere?
The year of the Dragon begins at Losar, when Tibetan thentuk soup features dumplings with surprises in the dumplings and khapsey deep-fried cookies remind me of the ones from Scandinavia that a German aunt used to make. Italian pizelles are enough like them to serve as a stand-in offering on the Buddha shrine. The spirits in this part of the world didn’t seem to mind when our ‘barley’ torma offerings were made of oatmeal instead of tsampa. It’s called skillful means to use what you have, and what’s available. I’m pretty sure the spirits know that.
Everyone at the temple where we used to go had family members who were not Buddhist. Their family celebrations included Christmas trees, gifts and a family meal on Christmas day, out of respect for Christian family members and the culture of this country. Likewise, Buddhist holy days and practices were observed by everyone in extended families as well. In December, Bodhi Day was the Buddhist celebration of Siddhartha attaining enlightenment under the Bodhi Tree.
On Bronco football days, a television was set facing the shrine, so the golden Buddha statue could see it and sensei made sure to finish his talk before kickoff time. Since sensei and temple members were all Bronco fans, we would be remiss if the Buddha could not enjoy the game with us.
The Feast of the Epiphany on Jan 6 is the last day of Christmas. Ukraine may have officially rejected the Orthodox Christmas date of January 6 since the Russian invasion, but individuals and families don’t let go of their traditions easily. Today, the mods on a Ukrainian food page have shut off comments on holiday posts altogether. I guess it was something different to fight about than whether borscht is spelled with or without a ‘t’ at the end. I suspect that professional fight-starters and snoops have joined the Ukie internet groups, as the tones there have turned nasty and rude in a way that they weren’t before.
The day after the last day of Christmas begins the season of Carnival and Mardi Gras and King Cakes. Between now and preparations for Easter, parties and parades and revelry happen. Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, is when cooks and bakers traditionally used up all the fat and eggs before the fasts of Lent. Don’t yell at me if I got it wrong. I’ve been Googling that stuff all morning, with the objective of baking a King Cake. It’s a brioche dough, filled and braided, frosted and decorated. There are apparently several traditions around putting beans, coins or a toy baby in the cake for one lucky person to find. Dumplings in Tibetan nine-ingredient new-year soup use that same idea.
I have been invited to participate in ‘Day of the Dead’ services here where we live. I always decline. As I understand it, their ritual involves summoning the spirits of individuals who have passed on to return for a big party. Since my beliefs involve reincarnation, dragging someone back to a previous life would be quite rude. Death shrines, such as the crosses people put along highways to mark accident scenes would have the same effect. You don’t want to distract the passed one from their journey through the bardo and future lives.
Quinceañeras for friends of our children were great fun, a wonderful celebration honoring young people stepping into the next stage of their life. Wouldn’t it be great if every young person in every culture could be celebrated with a party?
Holidays were a little trickier when our extended family included people who celebrated Ramadan. There were fights about which foods were and were not acceptable for the family feasts. I was a kid. Those were bickerings between the grownups. Most of the time they got it figured out. Other times, we sat in the car in a parking lot because one religion was absolutely exclusive of that other religion which involved the pope in Rome. That was a bummer. But the Dutch hop afterward included everyone. Everyone who danced with the new bride pinned folding money to her dress until it was so heavy she couldn’t dance any more. Brides picked the dresses with the biggest hoop skirts they could find to prepare for this.
What’s the best thing about a multi-culture, multi-religion family? You have lots more holidays to celebrate and all the traditions cross-pollinate. You know I’ll bet the spirits, the Wood Dragon and the Buddhas would like a King Cake for Losar. In our world, that date coincides with the weekend of the Super Bowl, so it will definitely be a party with green chilis and tortilla dip. Now that’s a plan!
What are the traditions that mix and match in your own celebrations, holidays and traditions?