And it’s well-supported by evidence
Conspiracy theories range on a scale from the laughable to the improbable to the possible to the likely to the real. One should regard sightings of new ones with skepticism. However, our society is rife with a very common form of conspiracy. We call it a corporation, or now, an LLC.
Unfortunately, the GOP has been taken over by a substantial conspiracy, one so serious that it would’ve panicked the old Cold Warrior Republicans, who I now miss very much. Don’t expect Q to notice it.
Since I haven’t done a lot of research on this, please consider everything below to be dark satire that matches reality in the most disturbing ways.
Recent events that caught my attention
Tucker Carlson has jilted Viktor Orban for lacking Nazi initiative: Maybe because Orbon hasn’t invaded anybody yet. Tuck yearned for a hard-assed fascist with harder balls. Of course, it would be no less the strong man’s strong man: Vladimir “Old Snake Eyes” Putin.
The Tuck’s fawning interview with Tsar Vladimir revealed his new ideological crush. The spectacle prompted the New York Times’ Peter Baker¹ to discover the Republicans “enigmatic affinity for the Russian ruler.” With all the usual pseudo-journalistic weasel words, Baker ultimately calls this “baffling.”
Was Baker in a coma since 2015? The Republican Party would change its name to the Respublikanskaya partiya, except they can’t pronounce it.
Not yet, anyway.
Actually, Peter, it’s no mystery at all: Just follow the money. Oh! But we can’t. It’s all dark. How did that ever happen? A better question might be why did it happen.
The Supreme Court opened the gates
In 2010, our slimy Supreme Court demolished campaign finance limits with Citizens United (the SCOTUS even had the plaintiff revise the case to make the desired ruling possible). It was about then that Fox News began to praise Putin and contrast his “strong leadership” with Obama’s “weakness.” I saw Sean Hannity doing this when I caught a glimpse of Fox at my parent’s house. It was a hint that something was up, and how far is up?
Before then, Republicans complained that Obama was a dictator shredding the Constitution! In other words, a strong man. How thick can hypocrisy be?
A confluence of American and Russian Oligarchs
At the time, the GOP’s wealthy supporters have long had more in common with Russian oligarchs than with the American people. To call our billionaires oligarchs would be right on the money. (That pun was not intended but is too suitable to deny.)
This explains why Trump was so readily accepted by governing Republicans. They were accustomed to dealing with donors who had the same personality disorders. The party members couldn’t see too much wrong with him, and that’s part of the reason why they still cling to him. But only part. Those same billionaires knew Trump would give them a jackpot in the form of tax cuts and corporate welfare.
Now, those same Republicans fear not just Trump’s vengeance but Putin’s. Old Snake Eyes has shown he’s willing to commit assassinations in other countries. Don’t discount terror as a part of the Putin/Trump strategy.
Liz Cheney said that many Republicans wouldn’t support Trump’s second impeachment because they were afraid. Cowardly and greedy might be the better description, but that also describes the pre-Trump Republicans, which was lost on Liz.
A scheme worthy of a Bond movie
Subversion of his greatest enemy’s government was always Putin’s long-term plan, culminating with Trump’s rise to power. This scheme went back to Putin’s own ascendance in 1998. He’s always been nostalgic for the Soviet Union sans that pesky communism. The USSR was only one the blood-soaked social organization ever contrived by humans. Putin has bemoaned its demise as “the worst tragedy of the Twentieth Century. By the time Putin joined the KGB, the Soviet Union had been scrape-mined of its founding ideology and was only about power.
So are Putin’s plans. And Trump’s.
To say the Democratic Party wasn’t ready for another Cold War was an understatement, especially with the GOP as a subverted organization. Unsuspecting Democrats and assorted left-wingers still thought Cold War I was ancient history. Cold War II wasn’t even on their radar.
The kicker is that the people who managed Trump’s 2016 campaign were the very same people who managed the corrupt, pro-Russian Viktor Yushchenko’s 2010 election in Ukraine. Those guys needed a new gig after angry Ukrainians deposed Yushchenko and seized the palace that he built and found a ledger with names like Paul Manafort and George Papadopoulos receiving truckloads of money. (A hint for future reference: if a president builds a palace, he’s planning to never leave office.)
Paul Manafort and George Papadopoulos were behind the scenes for Trump's campaign. In case that’s not compelling enough, Russian FSD agents Andriy Derkach and Konstantin Kilimnik were also there. Manafort once called himself Trump’s unpaid campaign manager. If you remember anything about Manafort from Robert Mueller’s investigation, you’d know he had expensive tastes. Somebody was paying for his services, and his past employer, the FSB, was on hand. Manafort’s trial also demonstrated he was a liar.
My wilder conjectures
It’s plausible that Team Yushchenko controlled Trump’s 2016 campaign from beginning to end. Having no self-control or brains to manage it himself, Trump was still loyal to Putin, whom he won’t stop praising, ever. He owes too much to Putin, who also has Kompromat on him. The carrot and the stick are always the best motivational team.
Trump was an excellent, high-ranking stooge. He had no respect or understanding of American democracy. His whole experience of governance was as sole proprietor of his business fiefdoms. Transplanted to government, the better word for that is dictatorship. Moreover, he’d been groomed as a Russian asset since 1988. (Which, BTW, was also the first year he flirted with a presidential run.)
But not quite the perfect stooge
Trump had some drawbacks as a Russian asset. He was dumber than a pile of rocks, lazier than a fossil, and just as old as one. His cognitive decline became evident when he boasted of “acing” his cognitive test, which retroactively flunks him. That decline has now become impossible to ignore. But his loyalty goes a long way with a personality like Putin’s, exactly as it does with Trump.
Still, Putin had to be less than satisfied with what Trump didn’t wreck in his first, (and we hope only) term. Tsar Vladimir likely wanted his American viceroy to be in office for the invasion of Ukraine, and Trump didn’t even dismantle NATO, which was obviously part of the scheme.
Death don’t us part
However, if Trump expires, count on Putin having a contingency plan. Keep an eye on who Trump chooses as his running mate. My bet is on Marjorie Taylor Green, although he could find somebody even worse.
Our nightmares will never end if we gift him the presidency again.
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¹For those who, like me, aren’t firewall-proof, I must give an indirect source for the article here.
(A version of this article was posted on Medium on February 10, 2024.)