“Where’s the kitty?” I called into the house. “The human is home and there’s no kitty!”
Silence was the only response.
“Freddie!” I yelled toward the stairs. Lately he’s been spending most of his time in my bedroom, curled up on top of the pile of sheets and blankets on my unmade bed.
“I guess this calls for a bribe,” I said, picking up the treat bag. I shook it hard, once more calling his name.
A thump from above the ceiling over my head told me I had been successful.
A gentle reminder of how we do things: 🐱🐶🐦
- Do not troll the diary. If you hate pootie diaries, leave now. No harm, no foul.
- Please do share pics of your fur kids! If you have health/behavior issues with your pets, feel free to bring it to the community.
- Pooties are cats; Woozles are dogs. Birds... are birds! Peeps are people.
- Whatever happens in the outer blog STAYS in the outer blog. If you’re having “issues” with another Kossack, keep it “out there.” This is a place to relax and play; please treat it accordingly.
- There are some pics we never post: snakes, creepy crawlies, any and all photos that depict or encourage human cruelty toward animals. These are considered “out of bounds” and will not be tolerated. If we alert you to it, please remember that we do have phobic peeps who react strongly to them. If you keep posting banned pics...well then...the Tigress will have to take matters in hand. Or, paw.
I watched Freddie run down the stairs then slowly saunter over to me. “Take your time,” I said, dryly. He made it to me and sat at my feet, staring up at me expectantly. “I missed you today,” I told him.
“I missed treats,” he said, pawing my leg.
I laughed and sat, opening the bag as I leaned into the plush cushions. Freddie hopped up beside me and pawed my arm. “Patience,” I instructed, carefully drawing out his three treats. He’s never been good at taking them from my hand, so I laid them on the cushion at his paws. He immediately bent down and gobbled them up, then lifted his head and looked at me with open hope on his face.
I frowned. “Three is the size of the bribe,” I said.
“Six is a better bribe,” he answered.
I looked into the open bag. “There’s only one left,” I said.
He gasped.
“I have another bag!” I assured him. “It’s just not the same flavor.”
Freddie frowned, then turned to jump off the couch.
“Where are you going?” I cried. “You just got here!”
He jumped down with a small chirp and wandered off.
“There’s one treat left!” I whined. “I’ll give it to you!”
He hit the bottom of the stairs and trotted up them, back to my bed and his interrupted nap.
“Darn!” I said, dropping the mostly empty bag on the coffee table.
Later that afternoon Freddie reappeared. I first saw him crouching in front of the screen door, watching the backdoor with the intensity of the baby hunter he was. “Are dere tings out dere?” I asked him, bending down to scratch between his ears. “Are dere tings?”
“Yes, the lizards are back,” he said, shaking off my hand.
I pointed. “Birds too!”
“Ooooh,” he said, shaking his tail and fidgeting his back legs to get into pouncing position.
“Do me a favor and don’t throw your entire body against the screen. I’d rather not have to get it or you repaired.”
“Hunting…” he muttered.
I sighed and straightened. My eyes landed on the new, unopened bag of treats. I picked it up.
He whirled around, his eyes locking on the bag in my hand. “Want one?” I asked.
“I want six!” he responded.
I sat down on the couch as Freddie jumped up. He waited impatiently, headbutting my bicep and pawing at my hand. “I’m opening it,” I assured him. Once I pried it open, I fished out three treats and laid them before him. He bent down and smelled them thoroughly.
I rolled my eyes. “They’re the same treats, just a different flavor,” I explained, exasperated.
He looked up at me. “I don’t know what these are, but they aren’t my treats.”
I showed him the bag. “It’s the same treats! The old ones were shrimp and these are beef. But the treats are the same!”
He bent down and smelled them again. “No,” he said, then turned and jumped back to the floor.
“Why are you like this?” I asked him as he walked away.
“You’re back!” I said, spotting Freddie sitting on the floor staring up at me. He didn’t answer, just continued to stare. “You wanna come up here?” I asked, patting the couch cushion next to me.
He stared at me, unblinkingly.
I frowned, not sure what was happening. “Come on up,” I said, whistling for him for good measure.
Nothing. He stared at me, unmoving.
Suddenly, I understood. “You’re waiting for me to offer you a bribe, aren’t you?”
He sat up straighter, his eyes sparkling with excitement.
I picked up the bag, and he immediately jumped up.
“We already went over this,” I said, shaking my head at him. “It’s the same treat, just a different flavor. You’ll like it! Just try it!”
He continued to sniff the small pile of treats in front of him, as if he were looking for explosives in a suitcase at the airport.
“You do this every time I switch flavors. Just taste it!”
He gave the treat closest to him a tentative lick, then very carefully picked it up with his teeth. Once crunch and it was gone.
“Good?” I asked.
“Maybe,” he said, going back to the pile to smell the next treat.
I laughed, rubbing my brow in amused frustration.
“I think that was only three,” Freddie mused. “You should give me three more.”
“First of all, I didn’t know you could count — “
“I can do a lot when my stomach is involved.”
“ — and secondly, three is the bribe, not six. I don’t even know where you came up with six.”
“I wanted more than three.”
I shrugged. “I guess that’s fair.” I reached over and picked up the bag. He stood, his tail quivering with excitement. I counted out three and set them in a little pile in front of him. He eagerly ate them then sniffed around the spot, looking for more. “That’s six now,” I reminded him.
“Six is pretty good,” he said, curling up next to me. “You can give me another six in an hour.”
“Mighty generous of you,” I said, petting him.
“It is,” he agreed, closing his eyes.
Happy Caturday, Peeps! We have started referring to treats here as bribes and Freddie really does react to new flavored treats with deep suspicion.