Once upon a time in a land far, far away, it came to pass that a dude named Noah got The Word that the big one (as in flood) was coming.
So Noah did what any citizen would do ... he contacted his local FEMA representative to prepare for the pending disaster.
And what do you think happened? Let's take a look:
Scene: A dusty road leads to a tin shack. A sign on the door reads FEMA. One man is inside, asleep at his desk. Noah knocks as he enters.
FEMA GUY: Say what?
NOAH: At last. This is a hard office to find.
FEMA GUY: Not if you know where to look. Hey, you wouldn't have today's racing form, would you?
NOAH: Uh, no. But i have some urgent news.
FEMA GUY: Really. Is the president coming for a visit? Am I getting a raise? Is somebody going to do something about the fucking air conditioning in this rat hole? Well ... what have you got?
NOAH: We're going to get rain. A lot of rain. More rain than you can imagine. 40 days of rain.
FEMA GUY: No shit. And how do you know that Mr Weather.Com?
NOAH: God warned me.
FEMA GUY: Woah daddy. How long have you been on medication?
NOAH: I know this is somewhat hard to believe.
FEMA GUY: Somewhat is an understatement. Look, this is a government office. Bad things happen when you mix politics with religion.
NOAH: Exactly. That's what God said.
FEMA GUY: Man, you got to get some sleep. OK, just what did God tell you?
NOAH: That He was not happy with how things were going down here on Earth, and that He was going to do something about it.
FEMA GUY: What's he going to do, write his Congressman?
NOAH: God doesn't have a Congressman. He's a higher power.
FEMA GUY: Hey, i've heard that before, but I can't recall where.
NOAH: Anyway, God said he was going to make it rain for 40 days and nights, and that I should get started building a boat.
FEMA GUY: (laughs) You know, I am starting to enjoy this. It hasn't rained here in weeks.
NOAH: Seriously. This is going to happen.
FEMA GUY: Sure thing. What do you want me to do?
NOAH: Organize. Prepare. Put a plan into motion.
FEMA GUY: That's not exactly what we do here.
NOAH: What do you do?
FEMA GUY: Mostly, I just hang out, waiting for 5 p.m.
NOAH: So, what are you going to do?
FEMA GUY: About the rain? Nothing. We could use a shower.
NOAH: You don't get it, do you?
FEMA GUY: I am not going to sit here and keeping talking with a deranged lunatic. I've got important things to do. Hey, it's almost time for lunch.