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From THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Today's edition of C&J is supersized as we look back on Bush's 365 day-old steamroller ride through---as The Daily Show puts it---Mess 'o Potamia. I encourage you add your own, since I'm sure I've missed many things, both good and bad.
But first: Poll results from yesterday show that 74% think the war issue will ultimately help John Kerry win the election. I'm encouraged by that, but I'm not swingin' with the majority. I think the GOP's hammering of his perceived flip-flops---plus the conventional wisdom that Republicans are better at national defense and security---will put Iraq in Bush's plus-column, not Kerry's. But...much can (and will) happen between now and November...so stay tuned.
Today's poll is tough---I still have no idea how I'll vote. Please don't ask where "Bush" or "Rumsfeld" or "the neo-cons" are on the list. Those are too easy. Powell, however, IS on the list because we expected "Mr. Exit Strategy" to be the rare voice of reason in the White House. Whether he disappointed you more than the others on the list is your call.
Cheers and Jeers starts in the Extended Copy section...RIGHTNOW!
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, March 19, 2004: Iraq One Year Later edition
CHEERS to our troops. Despite all the political BS---pay and benefit snafus, poor treatment of injuries, lack of body armor (not to mention WMDs)--- they're doing the best they can in Iraq. Special mention to Halliburton's special victory feast. Those cold sandwiches last night were yummy!
JEERS to George W. Bush. 567 of our troops died for his pre-9/11-planned, $100 gazillion (and counting) Father's Day gift. Talk about overkill---all '41' wanted was a sweater.
CHEERS to worldwide protests. Millions took to the streets, forcing headlines from reluctant media. Unfortunately, guns trumped banners.
JEERS to Cheney, Condi & Rummy. "Boo!" Crew had us diving under the covers with phony tales of mushroom clouds, sarin gas, botulism, and boogeyman under the bed. Click here for moral of the story: http://www.toostupidtobepresident.com/shockwave/fool_me.htm
JEERS to Coalition of the Willing. With Eritrea, El Salvador, Mongolia, Micronesia, Ethiopia Tonga, Palau and the Solomon Islands on our team, we could've stayed home.
CHEERS to Baghdad Bob. Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf boosts morale (ours, not theirs) with outrageous announcements of Iraqi army victories. But sometimes he could be downright prophetic: "Bush doesn't even know if Spain is a republic or a kingdom---how can they follow this man?" Thanks for the memories: http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com/#quotes
CHEERS to Hans Blix. Professional and calm to the end, he emerged as the voice of reason amid the WMD hysteria. No-bel Prize! No-bel Prize! No-bel Prize!
JEERS to Shock and Awe. Shock at how we bullied our allies. Awe of how our intelligence screwed up so badly. Shock at our lack of an exit strategy. Awe of how we pooh-pooh'ed the weapons inspectors. Shock at how no one's gotten fired. Awe of how no one's gotten impeached. Shock at "Bring it on!" Awe of fake Thanksgiving turkey. Shock at how quickly Al Qaeda set up shop. Awe of how utterly stuck we are. Post your own additions to this sorry list below.
CHEERS to Pvt. Jessica Lynch. A dedicated soldier who had the misfortune of getting captured, then chewed up by the military propaganda machine during phony, Baywatch-style "rescue." She deserves a medal for her public condemnation of the Pentagon, which she says "used me to symbolize all this stuff." Now THAT'S courage.
CHEERS to Joseph Wilson. Diplomat---highly praised by Bush I---rocks Dubya back on his heels by debunking state-of-the-union Niger uranium claim. White House exacts revenge by blowing the cover of his CIA operative wife. Will Plame investigation bring down some heavyweights in the west wing? If there is a god...
CHEERS to Uday/Qusay shootout. In a scene straight out of a 30's gangster flick, Pa's boys go down in a hail of bullets! But those death photos...ugh.
JEERS to the Democrats. The passage of time has not been kind to the pack of cowardly placaters. They prostrated themselves in the throne room of King George II, and now their protests sound lame. Makes me wish there was an independent candidate with a real shot at the White House.
CHEERS to Howard Dean & Dennis Kucinich. If they'd had their way, 567 troops would be alive and the WMDs would still be...um...not there. Good thing we didn't listen to these fringe kooks, huh?
JEERS to "Mission Accomplished." More troops died after Bush's carefully-choreographed aircraft carrier stunt than before. Let's not allow voters to forget this canned moment during the campaign. P.S. Bush's flight suit bulge? A pair of strategically-placed kiwis. That Rove thinks of everything.
CHEERS to Scott Ritter, William Rivers Pitt, Paul Krugman. He's a tough-as-nails former weapons inspector. He's a school teacher and senior editor for Truthout.com. He's a mild-mannered economy-watching op-ed columnist for the New York Times. All made searing, evidence-based, ahead-of-the-curve cases against the war...and helped strip a few gears in the pro-war bulldozer.
JEERS to Halliburton. We knew they were going to screw us. We knew they were going to screw us. We knew they were going to screw us. Surprise! Cheney's outfit...screwed us.
CHEERS to Iraqi civilians. Joy turns to frustration as quick liberation turns into bureaucratic reconstruction quagmire punctuated by exploding cars and donkey carts. Hang in there---I hear there's an Abercrombie & Fitch opening soon.
JEERS to Saddam's Last Stand. Spider hole snatch was perfect, high-drama ending for the Butthead of Baghdad. Degrading lice inspection was nice touch, too. (Whaddya think his hair clippings will fetch when they appear on Ebay?) But C&J is bummed that he turned out to be such a pants-pissing coward.
CHEERS to blogs. Came into their own---big time---before, during and after the show. And fired a warning shot over the head of the snotty, cow-towing traditional media: we're watching you---all of you.
JEERS to the universal truth: War is hell. If the cowardly neo-con architects of Iraq invasion had dodged bullets instead of errant drives on the golf course a few decades ago, they might know that.