"We are two very good political speechwriters and after many years of research we have invented an extraordinary method to weave a rationale in support of the Iraq war so light and fine that it looks invisible. As a matter of fact it is invisible to anyone who is too stupid and incompetent to appreciate its quality."
The chief of the guards heard the scoundrel's strange story and sent for the court chamberlain. The chamberlain notified the prime minister, who ran to the Lieberman and disclosed the incredible news. The Lieberman's curiosity got the better of him and he decided to see the two scoundrels.
"Besides being invisible, your Highness, this rationale for the Iraq war and why you agree most of the time with the GOP will be woven in colors and patterns created especially for you." The Lieberman gave the two men a bag of gold coins in exchange for their promise to begin working on the finely crafted rhetoric immediately.
"Just tell us what you need to get started and we'll give it to you." The two scoundrels asked for a loom, silk, gold thread and then pretended to begin working. The Lieberman thought he had spent his money quite well: in addition to getting a new argument for why centrist Democrats should be considered extremist , he would discover which of his subjects were ignorant and incompetent. A few days later, he called the old and wise prime minister, who was considered by everyone as a man with common sense.
"Go and see how the dirty tricks against Lamont are proceeding," the Lieberman told him, "and come back to let me know."
The prime minister was welcomed by the two scoundrels.
"We're almost finished, but we need a lot more logically meaningless bloviation chunks and superglue, plus ideas on diry tricks. Here, Your Exellency ! Admire the focus group tested themes, feel the seamless continuity" The prime minister bent over the loom and tried to see the integrity that was not there. He felt cold sweat on his forehead.
"I can't see any reason why the Lieberman should hold such a prominent political office," he thought. "If I see nothing, that means I'm stupid! Or, worse, incompetent!" If the prime minister admitted that he didn't see anything, he would be discharged from his office.
"What a marvelous logical argument for neoconservative pseudo-republican Democrats !, he said then. "I'll certainly tell the Lieberman and the DLC." The two scoundrels political hacksrubbed their hands gleefully. They had almost made it. More bullshit was requested to finish the work.
Finally, the Lieberman received the announcement that the two tailors had come to take all the measurements needed to sew his new Lieberman victory speech.
"Come in," the Lieberman ordered. Even as they bowed, the two scoundrels pretended to be holding a large scroll of meaningful, public discourse.
"Here it is your Highness, the result of our labour," the scoundrels said. "We have worked night and day but, at last, the most beautiful multipurpose crush'n destroy Lieberman stump speech in the world is ready for you. Look at the colors and feel how gauzy and tissue-like the logic is." Of course the Lieberman did not see any reasoning and could not feel any logic between his fingers. He panicked and felt like fainting. But luckily the throne was right behind him and he sat down. But when he realized that no one could know that he did not see the illogic of his vote for Lieberman argument, he felt better. Nobody could find out he was stupid and incompetent. And the Lieberman didn't know that everybody else around him thought and did the very same thing.
The farce continued as the two scoundrels had foreseen it. Once they had taken the measurements, the two began text-editing Lieberman's acceptance speech while sewing with their needles an invisible force of persuasion to move the fickle and inscrutible masses..
"Your Highness, you'll have to take off your canned and rehearsed spontaneous political speech to try on your actual opinions and thoughts - if you have any The two scoundrels draped the new clothes on him and then held up a mirror.
"Yes, this is a beautiful moderately regressive rational for a Christian right-lite agenda with built in unequivocal support for Israel and it looks very good on me," the Lieberman said trying to look comfortable. "You've done a fine job."
"Your Majesty," the prime minister said, "we have a request for you. The people have found out about this extraordinary political sleight of hand that has wrested the traitorous state of Conneticut away from the clutches of that Lamont and they are anxious to see you in your imperial nomination garb." The Lieberman was doubtful showing himself naked to the people, but then he abandoned his fears. After all, no one would know about it except the ignorant and the incompetent.
"All right," he said. "I will grant the people this privilege." He summoned his carriage and the ceremonial parade was formed. A group of dignitaries walked at the very front of the procession and anxiously scrutinized the faces of the people in the street. All the people had gathered in the main square, pushing and shoving to get a better look. An applause welcomed the regal procession. Everyone wanted to know how stupid or incompetent his or her neighbor was but, as the Lieberman passed, a strange murmur rose from the crowd.
Everyone said, loud enough for the others to hear: "Look at the Lieberman's new political slogans. They're beautiful!"
"And the sarcasm ! The drippingly acidic hues of putdown ! I have never seen anything like it in my life!" They all tried to conceal their disappointment at not being able to see the logic, continuity, or anything less than absurdity and farce, and since nobody was willing to admit his own stupidity and incompetence, they all behaved as the two scoundrels had predicted.
A child, however, who had no important job and could only see things as his eyes showed them to him, went up to the carriage.
"The Lieberman is naked," he said.
"Fool!" his father reprimanded, running after him. "Don't talk nonsense!" He grabbed his child and took him away. But the boy's remark, which had been heard by the bystanders, was repeated over and over again until everyone cried:
"The boy is right! The Lieberman is naked, It's true!"
The Lieberman realized that the people were right but could not admit to that. He though it better to continue the procession under the illusion that anyone who couldn't see his clothes was either stupid or incompetent. And he stood stiffly on his carriage, while behind him a page held his imaginary mantle.