In a well known double super secret meeting with cheese at the NSC with President Bush and members of the NSC staff, a debate raged about the new
packaging and marketing plan for the War On Terrorism. That micro-managing Presidential Wunderkind, Bush appeared vexed, miffed, kerpuffled and bejangled over the new words, slogans and jingles being implemented by the NSC to fight and win the war against ubiquitous, yet invisible enemies.
Now in a rare coup of intelligence gathering on quadrupled super secret background with the threat of tire slashing and spitting in my fast food if I reveal my source, we have obtained a partial record of that meeting. The verbatim transcript follows:
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National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley (NSASH): So you see Mr. President the Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism (GSAVE) is making great strides now that we have reduced the scale of the conflict from one of all out war to a mere struggle.
President George W. Bush (GWB): What the hell are you talking about Haddlebum? Did you run this by Turdblossom, because clearly no one checked with me.
NSASH: Well sir, the consensus of the intelligence, military and political managers is that the WOT is not winnable while the GSAVE does not have to be winnable. It is better to fight something to a stalemate than to fight something and lose.
GWB: Does "Big Time" know about this?
NSASH: The Vice President must always have plausible deniability sir, so he does not know directly, but he may have learned the general, vague details from Bob Novak.
GWB: Listen, Tweedledee, this is my freaking war. I am a war President in a time of war and war is all that's on my mind. And now you're saying I've got to have a complete makeover, a new look, new words. What the hell is the matter with everyone?
Karl Rove (TB): Mr. President, by November 2006, the War against Terror will have lasted longer than WWI, WWII, or Korea. And frankly, sir, we don't have much to show for it. In spite of our message discipline and marketing campaigns both Afghanistan and Iraq are in the shitter. We needed the war in the beginning, Mr. President to get the people all riled up and raring to go, but now we are in maintenance mode and need to dial-down some of the life and death stuff; the people don't want to hear about endless war, death and destruction in an election year. While we will stay the course and remain strong and fight the evildoers wherever they dwell, we also need to mobilize the base.
GWB: I can't believe this Karl. I thought you were a political genius. Social Security? In the crapper. Tax Reform? Off the radar screen. Energy, Transportation and CAFTA victories? One day story. Stem Cell Research? Enemies within. Iran and North Korea? Diplomatic dance marathon. Don't you see, Karl? Terrorism is all I got. I'm a one trick pony.
TB: Nonsense, Mr. President. You're not too old to learn new tricks. Extremism is better than terrorism. Terrorism is an act; extremism is a lifestyle. Let's face it sir, we have been torturing, desecrating and urinating on those Gitmo/Abu Ghraib boys for years now and we haven't even got the name of an al Qaeda PO Box. Terrorism is virtually impossible to preempt, but extremism? Oh sir, extremists are the lease secretive people on earth. They rant and rave to any that will listen at all hours of the night. Extremists are low hanging fruit; easy to pick off.
GWB: Well how about a War on Extremism?
NSASH: Well, we thought of that sir, but the acronym, W.O.E. presented some PR problems. We thought about the Fight Against Islamic Radicals, but F.A.I.R. was already taken and some thought it wasn't fair to limit our struggle to just Muslims. There is that whole Hollywood crowd to think about.
GWB: (whispering) Jews?
TB: No, sir, celebrities. They can't be trusted, sir.
GWB: Well how about the War Against Violent Extremism. W.A.V.E. Wave the flag. Catch the Wave. Now look who is the political genius Karl.
TB: Not bad, Mr. President, not bad at all. We'll have the marketing and trademark people look at it.
GWB: I just think it's wrong to give up on War without a fight. Struggle sounds like we're arm wrestling at a County Fair. I'd rather fight than wrestle, Karl.
TB: Well, sir as I say; we'll take a look. But we are entering into the election cycle. We are planning to bring a couple of hundred troops home and reduce the National Guard presence in Iraq. In short, Mr. President, the best case scenario is to declare victory and come home, except for the hundred thousand or so soldiers we need to keep the oil flowing. Next case scenario is that we declare victory in the war while still prosecuting the ongoing struggle. I can't stress how important it is to all of us Mr. President that we don't lose the Congress in 2006. You know what will happen if the Democrats take over.
GWB: Yeah, they'll raise taxes and coddle the evildoers.
TB: That would be the least of our problems, Mr. President; that would be the least of our problems.
So there you have it. There is a struggle against sanity going on in the Bush administration. It's clear that panic has set in about 2006 and the professionals are rushing to change the message and hold down the fort.
And ultimately I think they'll succeed. Outfits like CNN, FOX and the Networks, along with the New York Times and the Washington Post etc. have invested far too much in money and resources for War branding; logos, graphics, messaging, prestige and the embedding of journalistic integrity to give up the GWOT without a struggle.
But as they say, miracles do happen.