Some e-mails:
--- In 12-Step_Coercion_Watch@yahoogroups.com,
<m> wrote:
a while ago i posted something regarding a friend of mine who for the sake of anonymity i called chris. Chris was forcibly enrolled in a rehab program by the courts for a drug abuse problem. A program that uses the twelve steps, chris is a pagan. For those of you unfamilar with that it means simply that his beliefs are not christian. he does believe in a higher power but not in the manner that is consider christian. here is the problem that i have. he was recently granted a weeks leave as part of his recovery.At the end of this week he was instructed to attend church. which he did at the location they specified. in the back of this church was a man. i know this because i attewnded with him as a show of support. even though i share chris' pagan belifs the man was from the rehab center and was there to check and seee that they attended the church.
Chris also told me that after he gets out and effectively graduates from the center. that they will monitor his progress, in other words they will stalk him, legally. i contacted a lawyer to see if there was anything i could do about them watching him, and he said as long as chris is on probation the center people can monitor him. he is thinking about moving as soon as his probation is up. > m
Yandoobies offered:
I too have been forced to enroll myself in a rehab program for the county of Lubbock, TX - for having in my possession a joint about the length of my pinkie nail. It was a 90 day program that I finished about a week ago (110 days, actually.) A part of the program, as well as a part of my probation, is to attend AA or NA at least once a week - getting signatures, of course, to verify attendance in the "attraction only" world of 12-steps.
What I wanted to bring up about your friend, "chris," is that, although one is required to attend these cult meetings, there is no requirement to follow the 12-step path, aside from abstinence from your drug of choice. Your friend having to attend church sounds like he may have unintentionally gotten himself a "handler," er, I mean, "sponsor." Part of the 12-step indoctrination is to have a senior member of the group monitor one's activities and confessions. I have heard it said that one should "do anything and everything the sponsor asks, even if it doesn't seem logical or in your best interests." This is total bullspit, but... it is followed religiously by certain indoctrinated 12-steppers.
The "requirement" to attend church sounds like something a sponsor might request. The sponsor, although most often a rabid 12-stepper, tends to believe that his God is the right higher power to petition for protection from the devil drugs - this goes against the supposed 12-step theory of "higher power," but it fits in pretty snuggly with human psychology and what many folks irresponsably placed in a position of power over another, such as "sponsor," might do. There are quite a few things done that "sound" like requirements, especially if you're on probation and really fear for your freedom.
Always keep a clear head and consider everything that is flung at you from a place other than that fear. An example is a form that I thought I was required to sign - about 2 or 3 months into my probation. It was a contract whereby I agreed to a full year of sobriety (even though the probation was only 9 months - until my dirty u/a at the 6 month point extended that 9 for another 6 months.) This trickery has been used to recall folks who have finished probation for urinalysis which they are fully responsible for passing - people who may have been clean for their entire probationary period up until the "day after probation celebration." Thinking back to the day I signed that agreement, I do not recall being told that it was obligatory that I signed; I just signed because I wanted to do whatever the system wanted so I could go back to being myself - which is a Pot-Head (for medicinal reasons - IBS - of course.)
Main point here is that there are all kinds of requests that are flung at us folks on probation. Most of these things they know we will do because we are terrified of going to jail or having to endure more probationary time. The truth is, even on probation, we do not have to submit to most of these impositions or indoctrinations. For probation, you simply have to show up to meetings - you do not have to: get a sponsor, admit to your "sins," go to church, swear to sobriety for longer than your probationary period, pray to Bill Wilson for guidance from his hallucinogen induced mountain top, or admit that you are powerless over this or that. These are all scare tactics. These are blatant attempts at intimidation and religious (not spiritual) indoctrination. Rationaldl is quite correct in bringing these types of abuses to a lawyer of some sort.
My final rant is about the typical mind set of the 12-steppers. No matter what they say they believe in, if they are fully into the 12-steps, it is because they are still seeking answers to the meaning of life - they've simply been herded into a cul-de-sac that puts that seeker mentality to sleep in the name of Bill W. They are, despite the outward display of firm and focused devotion to the steps, very open to suggestion and, of course, subtle manipulation - if they weren't, they wouldn't be 12-steppers. The fun here is to talk about your own beliefs as benignly as possible, with conviction and, pardon the pun, sobriety - meaning gravity. You'd be surprised how many God-fearing (or doorknob-fearing) 12-steppers will gravitate to your philosophy and secretly begin to doubt the validity of AA or NA (without abandoning their sobriety or wish to remain so.) Use the time you have in the program (and even, if not especially, at church) to introduce friendly debate, quiet philosophical meanderings. The most useful part of 12-step groups is simply the group therapy aspect. Strip away all of the rituals and the thing might even work. But, rituals existing, focus on that "group therapy" time as a time to speak your mind. Let the bastards stalk away - your inner landscae is the thing they want to sculpt, not the outer landscape. No one can change your inner landscape but you. Keeping this in mind you might be able to laugh at the creeps (especially once off of probation) because their actions are really just antics (and antics that can get them into trouble if you are on your toes - he who laughs last, etc.)
"chris" is a pagan. No need to switch higher powers. But, being a Pagan, he should well understand my reference to inner landscape. Do some spellwork to bind the activities of the stalker types. Meditate on clarity in discerning what is legally required vs. what is just mumbo-jumbo. In a frighteningly literal manner of speaking the 12-steppers are practising spellwork in the name of their God, Bill W. It's Pagan in many ways... It's just christianized paganism (which is what christianity is anyway - an extention of older religions modified to create social control in opposition to freedom and self-will.) 12-steppers think self-will is evil. God thinks self-will is divine connection. Don't forget your roots.
---<m> wrote:
> we are in california and he (chris) is the only one
> in recovery.I am
> however the child of an alcolohic so i am somewhat
> familiar with the
> court system. being as the parent in question was
> arrested on a
> dui.But he went back on the sauce following the
> probation
> period.Unfortunately he still drives even with his
> license being
> suspended.
> Unfortunatly chis can't afford a lawyer, he works
> fast food so he
> can't afford one.
> honestly i joined this site because i'm concerned
> for his emotional
> well being. he's vulernable now, has been since his
> parents died and i
> don't like the idea that these people are taking
> advantage of that.
> i'm a big supporter of religious freedom and freedom
> period. I just
> don't want them using him
> mira
Yandoobies offered:
When it comes to probation and the 12-steppers taking advantage of him... I'm not sure, but I think probation only requires that some form of NA or AA be attended. I don't know what part of California you are in, but if it is a more populated place (city or something like that) there might be quite alot of different groups. I've noticed, even here in Lubbock Texas, that although 12-steppers are supposed to be devoted to their cause, there seems to be quite a lot of rivalry between groups (especially AA vs. NA.) Maybe attending different groups as a perpetual first timer can help Chris avoid some of the mind control that these groups inflict. Often it takes time for them to get to know a person before they get heavy handed.
An example of the infighting of 12-step groups is that I've been attending an NA on Texas Tech campus for the majority of my probationary period. One time I mentioned some literature and got grilled by one of the long timers about not bringing talk of outside literature into the group. Someone else took me aside later in the group and first apologized for the rigid one's reaction and then went on to say that even mentioning the AA Big Book in an NA meeting would get the same reaction - he'd mentioned the Big Book, once, and was verbally attecked by fellow NA members. It seems strange to me since NA uses the same 12-step process copywritten by Bill Wilson, but... This stuff goes on. The same kind of thing happens from group to group within the same 12-step program. People are very tribe oriented at the core.
If Chris goes to different groups he might be able to diffuse their ability to get ahold of him,
emotionally. Most rehab clinics and probation offices have lists of all the various 12-step meetings in the area as well as times and addresses. Most people are creatures of habit and stick to one or the other groups. Going to as many varied NA and AA (keep alternating) meetings will satisfy the probation offices need to have those signatures to verify attendance and it might keep the meetings themselves at a more impersonal level - less chance of any one group getting their hooks in.
Don't let Chris be used. Don't let him let them use him. They are definitely doing that by requiring church attendance. They know that when people are vunerable thay feel a sense of either not belonging or a sense of separation from society or a higher power. They know that this vulnerable period is the prime time to offer a "new family."
There is a friend of mine who is an athiest who has major problems with AA but still attends because he says it reminds him of his own disfunctional alcoholic family. This is the trick. People who are in need or people who know what it's like to be in a family scarred by addiction feel somewhat at ease in the presence of a surrogate family that is just as disfunctional as the original (This said to warn you, yourself, about not getting involved in the 12-step cult, having said you have family experience with such things.)
The 12-step cult knows how to create a feeling of inclusion while degrading the included. There is an unwarranted feeling of self-importance for the group as well as the senior members that hooking newcomers
gives. Losing oneself to addiction is all about control - or lack of self control. What people who lack self-control want to do - especially if they don't want to look in the mirror and face the root of their problem - is to control others. AA and NA creates the perfect environment for those without self-control to exercise this form of projection.
After probation is over - try to ignore these people as much as possible. Moving away would be like letting them win. Sometimes the best way to regain a healthy sense of self (even damaged by deaths in the family or other demoralizing events) is to stand up for oneself. If Chris runs away, he may create some guilt feelings that will catch up to him wherever he runs to. Not to sound too corny but, stand and face the enemy head on. Sometimes you don't need lawyers; sometimes just being strong will do. These people try to take advantage of weakness. They don't do so well against people whohave focused on grounding their sense of self. They don't do so well against people who are willing todefend their own path - classic bullies. Don't let them bloody your nose - bloody theirs, even if only metaphorically or philosophically.
How to do this? I don't know. But each of us has it in us to find our own way. 12-steppers want to blind
people to this fact. They are the weakest of the weak. Seek strength in yourselves - it is there.
--- In 12-Step_Coercion_Watch, "uramofaux"
<uramofaux@y...> wrote:
> "Perhaps there is a better way--we think so. For we are now on a
> different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust
> infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to
> play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He
> would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match
> calamity with serenity."
>
> ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 68~
Finite self, hmmm. Very defeatist attitude there.
God, in more religions than simply christianity, created man in His image... supposedly. And the entirety of what exists supposedly began as a thought in the mind of God - an image, if you will. Man, just a thoughtform in God's mind brought into reality by "the word" - Aum, in some traditions. From the religion of science the absolute absence of anything was this God - big bang, something from nothing... And if you research the theories, there was a distinct sound for this event (I wonder if it sounded like Aum.)
Taken from either side, God doesn't seem to want people to be directed by his will. Something from nothing would not have any prerequisites to follow His will - He not having one. The Unified Field Theory doesn't want anything of you, so be yourself and take responsibility for yourself whether your a piece of crap or deserving of sainthood. Free will in your finite self is what makes you capable of pondering the infinite rather than just snuffling around for roots, grubs and berries. The other, something from something, views of God seem to point to man being special because of, not despite, his having free will - God wants you to choose, not to choose to not choose. The ultimate being might want you to be good to others and not judge, but he wants you to choose to do this, not ask him to choose for you. Why create free will and bill it as the ultimate triumph of beingness if you want these little monkies to abandon their ultimate gift?
Bill Wilson borrowed all of his "original" ideas from a pre-existing program called "the Oxford Group." It included almost all of the steps that he actually got copywritten in it's mission to save addicts from themselves. The only difference was that the Oxford Group used the bible as their big book. Bill was advised that the bible would scare away many a drunk and opted to move toward "Higher Power" in later editions of his opus - a little trickery to get folks to experience God. So much for "getting Honest."
What's the difference between spiritual and religion, anyway? Well, spiritual is simply believing in something, personally, and living your life in whatever way resonates with that personal view of "something more than here" - free will; free will AS the connection to that higher power, as one perceievs it. Generally, spiritual beliefs in one individual do not cause them to vilify others with differing spiritual beliefs and if there are any personal rules, they are not expected of others. Religion is when one takes that spiritual belief and applies rigid rules to it so that if these rules are not strictly followed, no connection to god - no free will. Religion generally involves a Holy Book of these rules for spiritual enlightenment. Further, religion expects that it's spiritual belief IS the belief that everyone should have and wishes to apply it's rules to the entire world population by force of dogmatism (and it's particular Big Book.)
Look at AA's "spiritual" tradition. Hmmm,... 12-steps. 12-steps that, if not strictly followed, will lead to "jails, institutions and death" - as well as no "spiritual" awakening. Sounds like religion, not spirituality. We have a prophet, Bill Wilson, who, through extreme amounts of opiates, hallucinogens and a good portion of Delirium Tremens, actually saw God on a mountain top and was filled with the spirit which then inspired him to write the gospel - the Big Book. Religion seems to like having a prophet of some sort to get the rules written down and it seems to love having a big book of rules, parables and anecdotes. Spiritual simply means "something higher," but the original Big Book/12-steps distinctly says "God" and Him - "Higher Power," again, was added later so that drunks and addicts wouldn't be scared away from the program.
Something on the topic of infinite god versus finite self. If one truly believes in a "higher power," inherently, one believes in the eternal nature of the human soul, the infinite nature of all God's
creatures and the inherent nature of all of these fragments of God to
have all of the divinity of the source, if they only have a spiritual
awakening and actually see this divinity - the universe in a grain of
sand. Even science has been trekking in this direction - quantum
physics, non-local particle/waves, holographic universe, sting theory,
sacred geometry, phi, etc. Even if God is simply a Unified Field
Theory, we all contain, or are in the very least connected to,
everything else that exists and each contain the blueprint for the
cosmos in every atom of our corporeal bodies. Big Responsibility? Just
nature.
AA seems to want to deny that great potential, scientifically or
spiritually, in every addict under the guise of "spiritual awakening."
If a spiritual awakening were indeed caused by the steps, then the
awakened would realize that the 12-steps were no longer needed. If God
removes the problem, as the Big Book states, then there would be no
need to be a lifer. God doesn't remove the iniquities. Take
responsibility for yourself. To become addicted to certain behaviors
is just as debilitating, spiritually, as chemical addiction. The 12
steps are simply a non-chemical drug designed to keep one dependent
rather than promoting independence - a replacement addiction. You can
do that on your own. Bill Wilson did. He smoked like a chimney, was
taken in by the LSD culture (trying to achieve that first delusion of
the mountain top - chasing after that first high) and cheated on his
wife voraciously (The original AA group called it 13th stepping when
Bill took advantage of female 12 steppers who looked to him as some
kind of hero/messiah - really.)
"Perhaps there is a better way--"
You are right. There is a better way.
And, God or no, you have to find it for yourself.
Become independent.
Forgive yourself,
the AA won't do it for you
(they'll just take the credit.)