From Sarasota, Florida....
Let's start with this, the cover of the current issue of The Economist:
I don't know if this cover is celebrating the D's coming together (we hope) or just plain mocking them, but, doing my best BAGNews Notes imitation, I do have a few things to say about it:
1. John Kerry is so not a banjo player.
2. Bill Clinton with a tenor sax? Obvious. Hillary Clinton on bass guitar, and wailing? Genius! Maybe she is going all Alannis Morissette on the VRWC.
3. Mark Warner on accordion. Tphhht.
4. Of course those silly photoshoppers had to put on cliche' loony left stickers on the guitars. They should have used a smokestack on Gore's instead of the cigarette.
5. Obama gets an out-of-scale trumpet, and Teddy gets nothing. Heh.
6. Typical violinist: Dean is looking away from the rest of the ensemble, expecting all of them to follow him. But that would actually be right.
A picture-perfect Cheers and Jeers Monday begins in the extended copy section .......(SWOOOSH!).....Right NOW! (GONG!)
OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: AAbshier's Cheers and Jeers are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form, with Bill in Portland Maine's Cheers and Jeers. The use of the words JEERS and CHEERS , the swoosh/gong device, pie references, pootie pics, lusty wenches, ponies, Hillary Rodham Clinton, insults to Armando, and flicked peas are all used with permission of Bill in Portland Maine and the members of the C&J Café community. Any further resemblances to BiPM`s Cheers and Jeers are deliberately coincidental. So there.
NOTE 1: Cheers and Jeers Monday is not just good enough for me. It's good enough for me and Bobby McGee.
NOTE 2: I'll be in Tampa today, away from the computer, so this will be a "drive by" Cheers and Jeers. Sorry 'bout that.
DOC'S BAD JOKE OF THE WEEK! (in the convenient gray box so you can avoid it and not miss anything else)
I dedicate this week's bad joke to buhdydharma, because he gave me a pony last week:
A man was talking to a Shetland pony's owner when he heard the pony cough.
"Does he have a cold?", asked the man.
The pony's owner replied, "no, he's just a little horse."
Katherine Harris: Pure. Comedy. Gold.
With each passing debacle of her U.S. Senate campaign, while others encourage the candidate to quit, I find myself quietly urging Harris to please, please, please stay. I want more. I need more. I must have - more.--Daniel Ruth, Tampa Tribune columnist.
Holy crap, the Princess was busy this past week. She's practically the whole Cheers and Jeers!
Well, the outfit is pretty good, I have to admit. But what's with that band around her neck? Perhaps she was stung by the comparisons of her neck to Ann Coulter's?
C'mon guys, I dare you slap that green paint on her. I double dare you. The gent in the back looks like he's thinking about it! (Gainesville Sun)
Later, that same day.....
You know her campaign is in trouble when the Princess believes she has to hit on a young journalist (scroll down) for good copy:
"I've never written Penthouse Forum before, but......."
Cheers to a Diebold-proof lead. A Rasmussen Reports poll released on April 14th shows Bill Nelson with a thirty point lead, that's 57%-27%, over the Princess, with 33% of Republicans responding in the poll stating that they would vote for Nelson. The Quinnipiac Poll released April 20th is slightly worse for Nelson at 56%, but also shows the Princess with only 27% support. As Mark Lane pointed out on his blog, Flablog, how little is 27%? That was the percentage of votes Alan Keyes recieved against Barack Obama. No wonder Bill has been mailing it in all year.
Cheers to what we hope is a prescient comment by Harris. At a campaign stop in Gainesville, the Princess stated that her campaign was crucial because, "as Florida goes, so goes the nation." If that means that the R's running for Senate get stomped by 30 points, I am totally in her corner on this one!
Jeers to flippity-floppity. Paul Senft, Polk County, Florida, District 4 Commissioner and Florida's committeeman on the RNC, strongly endorsed Harris at a campaign event almost two weeks ago: "Katherine, I want you for my U.S. senator." But at a recent Tiger Bay Club luncheon headlined by the four candidates for the District 4 seat (Senft, two other R's, and a Democrat), when the candidates were asked which Senate candidate they endorsed, Senft was the only one who declined to comment! (via Interstate4Jamming)
Cheers to the citizens of Micanopy, Florida (near Gainesville). According to this story in the St. Petersburg Times, an appearance by the Princess there drew--wait for it--one dozen people. The Micanopy Dozen liked her, but she would drawn so many more if she had chosen (WARNING: link NSFW!) this Micanopy venue instead, especially if she gave the voters a chance to fairly judge her two campaign assets.
Jeers to wacky fundraising initiatives. The Harris campaign mailed out dollar bills to their supporters, suggesting that they at least match the dollar in contributions. Many recipients simply returned their dollar bills, which were then counted as funds raised for the campaign, even though the dollars had been sent out by the campaign in the first place. (Note to self: must get on the Princess's mailing list for iced tea money.)
Jeers to one hell of an expensive dinner out. The Princess insists that her share of a $2,800.00 dinner she shared with disgraced defense contractor Mitchell Wade was only about $100.00. Her explanation? "[Mr. Wade] purchased several expensive bottles of wine which he took home with him uncorked -- this is apparently the reason the bill was so high." Yup. 2005 was a good year for Thunderbird. Or was it Night Train? But wait, there's more....
Jeers to where the Princess put the $100.00 share. To avoid the appearance of impropriety (snicker), the Princess stated her intent to donate the amount to charity. After mulling over charities to donate that amount to, she turned down Habitat for Humanity in favor of the Global Dominion Impact Center. According to the Lakeland Ledger, the GDIC claims its crusades have resulted in "supernatural deliverance from demonic possessions." The founder also claims an inspiring testimony of deliverance after being sold to the devil as an infant. And that beats building houses for the needy how......?
The Rest:
Jeers to batshit-crazy strategic thinking, in an LTE published in the Sarasota Herald-Tribune on April 21st:
[T]he 20 million Mexicans in the U.S. could reform Mexico simply by arming themselves, heading south en masse and peacefully, if possible -- violently, if necessary -- deposing from power every government apparatchik, from Vicente Fox on down to the lowest paid clerk. Then, using the best parts of our Constitution, they could create another government of "few and defined powers."
Jack W. Davison
Bradenton
It's a good thing we don't have this type of strategic thinking in the highest offices of our government. No, wait.....
Cheers to people power in Tallahassee. Four months ago, a 14-year old inmate lost his life at a Bay County boot-camp facility. Last week protestors, led by students from the three universities in Tallahassee, staged a sit-in at the governor's office, then Friday a protest that drew 1,500 students, plus Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, prompted Jeb! to meet with the mother of the boy and promise a more comprehensive investigation.
Cheers to today's birthday girl, Barbra Streisand. A giant of the entertainment industry, she has worked as an actor, singer, producer, director, and composer, winning two Academy Awards along the way. She has also been a forceful voice for liberal politics, so much so that every two-bit hack writing fund-raising letters for the wingnuts ensures that Barbra's name goes in the copy. Even now, she kicks ass and doesn't take names:
I am so sick of talk show hosts who say things like "everyone thought that there were WMDs in Iraq at the time of the invasion." That is just not true! And I am frustrated at Democrats for not refuting this claim more forcefully.[...]
We can't let moderators frame questions that give false impressions. Millions of people are watching and listening.
Like buttah!
All this talk about Barbra makes me a bit farklempt.....talk amongst yourselves! What do you have to Cheer and Jeer about today?