[Update] I will be monitoring this tonight, pathetically looking for some productive discussion.
Update [2005-9-30 10:24:47 by rserven]:Hey, people. I really am trying to create some discussion here about the issues addressed. I have a doctor's appointment, should be back at noon or so (last time I went to a doctor, she kicked me out of her office because she doesn't treat people like me). I would love to find some serious dialog taking place when I get back. However I may have tried to lighten up a bit when I wrote the rant, I'm totally fucking serious here.
I'm concerned. I'm troubled. I'm aghast. I'm appalled. Read on to find out why.
Are we there yet?
Notes:
(1) Some people get annoyed about how people like me sometimes write. I use a lot of asides. Please bear with me. It's a product of decades of inner dialogue.
(2) Okay, so I lied to sucker a few more people in here. I'm not exactly the mom, but I am the other biological parent. My daughter is a lesbian in a long-term relationship in California, from whence also comes my partner. You may have noticed there was a little sun'in, sun'in (as my students would say) out there yesterday.
In the hour here and there I had to spend some time online (office hours works pretty good...it's not like there are any students showing up this early in the semester), I managed to stumble across some posts that sort of staggered me (well, that's hyperbole, of course, they were more like spit-takes).
I have to mention some "names" here (well, usernames anyway...I have trouble understanding why people don't just write in their own name, but that's just me), because no amount of description from me can replace being able to read everything for oneself. I am positive that these are probably very nice people who had the best of intentions when they wrote what they wrote. More's the pity.
And this is totally unfair, because I'm trying to bring the conversation over here from over there. But I have to do it because there are so many over there's. And I'm messing with the timing of when everything happened a bit because I really don't think it matters.
Anyway, mrgavel published his diary Problem with Democratic Issues, in which he wrote,
Take gay rights, for example. Gay rights only directly affects a relatively small minority of voters.
I shall not include the next sentence. Someone else can no doubt better parse it and comment on it than I.
There were excellent replies from irishwitch and josephk that I wish to point out.
Now I admit I was a little ticked in general from an encounter from the night before with a shall-be-nameless Cossak(sp?), who thought it would ever be appropriate to refer to a human being as a "her, him or it" in a discussion about Ann Coulter. I have only myself to blame. I knew I would find just this sort of remark. I responded about the remark being disgusting. There is in my opinion just about nothing more offensive a transsexual person (and please, PLEASE do notice that transsexual is an adjective, not a noun) could read. I could have been black and he could have been calling me a nigger.
But that was me, the transsexual lesbian. The suggestion that gay rights aren't so important in the grand scheme of the democratic party and therefore should be unloaded as an issue was read by me, the pissed off PFLAG parent. Say what you will about me. I can handle it. But back off if you want to harm my child.
I replied, with probably less directness than I should have
So the fact that GLBT people don't have the same rights of others doesn't affect their family members, their friends, their co-workers, their communities, and on and on and on...
A group of people lacking rights affects everybody, whether they like it or not.
I am not black, but the fact that blacks in America had limited rights and freedom affected me deeply.
I am not South African, but Apartheid singed my soul.
To which philgoblue responded,
Let's stop comparing not being allowed to have a marriage certificate with Apartheid and Segregation.
Now I hadn't thought I had, so I responded:
Who the hell was talking about marriage?
Certainly not me. There are places in this country where queers get fired for being queer (if they ever can get hired in the first place), where people won't rent to queers, where queers get assaulted at an alarming rate with nothing done to stop it by there friendly neighborhood cops (who just as likely as not are doing part of the assaulting), where queers have their children taken away from them by the state, where people like Matthew Shepard get strung up on a fence and left to die.
[Spelling was corrected]
And there you have it. Matthew Shepard could have been my child.
Into this mix I need to throw tvb's wonderful diary that was on the recommended list, Homophobia on Dkos and the politics of outing. If you read it already, read it again.
And you might read ektomia's LGBT Phobias and So On as well (god, what's this place coming to, multiple trannies and intersexed people. There goes the neighborhood). It was there that I put in my sixty-three cents (inflation) about the subject of whether or not it is appropriate to out someone, for whatever reason:
Look, there are transgender people who are homophobic. There are gays and lesbians who are transphobic. Try being a male-to-female transsexual person entering "women-born-women only" space. Been there and done that and broke down some barriers, but it's not usually what I would do for fun.
But it would never even dawn on me to consider outing someone because their political beliefs diverge from mine. I mean, what's the point? My case ought to stand on its own merits, with no need to ever stoop to such tactics. If that's not the case, maybe I better re-examine my case, don't you think?
I expect to be bashed by right-wingers of all stripes. It comes with the territory. But it is very, very painful to be bashed by people who call themselves liberals. If "bashed" seems to harsh to anyone, hear this: just because you're nice while you do it and your intentions are good, it is still a not-so-subtle form of bashing.
Do I hear you correctly? You are willing to sacrifice our rights for political power? Seriously now, if 10% of the population were GLBT, and each had one living supportive parent and one living supportive sibling, which would seem to be ultra-conservative estimates to me, and throw in, say, half a child apiece for good measure and one good friend, and throw out some for the overlap, what are we talking? 40% of the population or so? Your willing to cut us loose? W T f_c_ing F!!!
And do people really wonder why the the democratic party can't win an f_c_ing election so that people like me and my daughter can actually live our lives in peace, which we haven't done since the Clinton years and even those weren't so damn good! If you want a good stategy, try not being so damned inept! Just sayin'.
</rant>
(By the way did I ever tell you that before I transitioned I was married to the secretary for one of Clinton's Arkansas campaign managers? Long story for another day. Short version: I have a picture of us shaking hands at a campaign breakfast. He has bad breath. I guess power can disguise a lot of shortcomings.)
<rant>
I know there's a lot of stuff going on: new CJOTUS, the Shadenfeude brought to you by Tom Delay, Frist, and co., Katrina and Rita, cruising the diaries for snark-bait, and 5 reports on everything said by everyone who managed to get within 5 feet of any camera or microphone (you know, I really could care less what O'Reilly/Hannity/Limbaugh/whoever happened to say...I really have deep suspicions about the proportion of these people's audiences who are liberals and how long they would last on the air if the liberals would simply stop listening and/or watching). And you all have your own issues that are of vital importance to you. And I am a firm believer all the Ammendments as well as the main part of the Constitution (except had I been there, it wouldn't have been a deal-breaker, but I would have gone to the mat for Freedom from Religion over Freedom of Religion (I say this from the perspective of a Taoist, not an atheist).
But I have one thing I want to say to all of you, in my very best parent voice, my very best teacher voice (and student's know better than to get on the wrong side of Ms. Serven). C'mon yo'. Listen to the PFLAG "mom":
Knock off the f_c_ing bullcrap!!!
Please? Can you resist the gay-baiting, trans-bashing crapola??? Give it a rest already.
Poll? Poll? We don' need to steenkin' poll! But I included one anyway, pulling out all the stops in trying to get this damn thing read.