Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday

From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...

Two (of many) reasons why I honor Gerald Ford today...

The first is a column written by Deb Price for the Detroit News six years ago:

Former President Gerald Ford believes the federal government should treat gay couples the same as married couples, including providing equal Social Security and tax benefits. Ford's views, expressed in an exclusive telephone interview, make him the highest-ranking Republican ever to endorse equal treatment for gay couples.

"I think they ought to be treated equally. Period," Ford declared. Asked specifically whether gay couples should get the same Social Security, tax and other federal benefits as married couples, he replied, "I don't see why they shouldn't. I think that's a proper goal."

The second reason? He was a man who loved to make a joyful noise:

Lyndon Johnson once claimed that Gerald Ford was too dumb "to walk and fart at the same time." Perhaps. But Ford could definitely fart while standing still, which he apparently did with alarming frequency and abandon. According to his Secret Service detail, the president would loudly let one rip and then always attempt to put the blame on one of them with indignant remarks like, "Jesus, did you do that? Show a little class."
---From Secret Lives of the Presidents by Cormac O'Brien (Quirk Books)

I don’t carry water for Republicans very often, but that's one tradition I pledge to honor up to, during, and after my own funeral. For you, Jerry.

Cheers and Jeers starts in There’s Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Note: I only have one resolution this year: to help peasant farmers in Asia maximize their stock portfolios.

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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Democrats take over Congress: 2
Days ‘til the Oxford Hills Snowfest in Norway, Maine: 25
Number of U.S. troops killed in Iraq as of Dec. 31: 3,002
Percent of men who are unhappy with their weight: 55%
Percent of women who are unhappy with their weight: 60%
(Source: Parade Magazine survey)
Number of people "counterfeit vodka" kills in Russia every year: 42,000
(Source: AP via The Week)

Oh, and this...

New England 40  Tennessee: 23

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Your Puppy Pic of the Day:  "What a party.  Please make the kibbles in the room stop spinning..."

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CHEERS to January!  Anyone who enjoys winter sports is in Heaven.  And steaming-hot clam chowder on a frigid, snowy day never tasted better.  Please don't let it end!

JEERS to January.  Still two and a half months 'til spring..  Please...let it end!

JEERS to much ado about nothing.  Saddam Hussein, who had been de-fanged for four years, was hanged Friday night (in a clumsy manner that really pissed off the Sunnis---heckuva job al-Maliki).  When he saw the noose they used, former Senator George Allen shouted, "Wow---it’s just like mine!"

CHEERS to the weirdest triumvirate of 2006.  There's an old adage that famous people die in threes.  Who could have predicted that the latest group would include James Brown, Gerald Ford and Saddam Hussein?  That must've been one weird elevator ride.

CHEERS to an asswhuppin' from the great beyond.  Gerald Ford, posthumously,  to George W. Bush: "You’re an idiot..."

"Rumsfeld and Cheney and the president made a big mistake in justifying going into the war in Iraq. They put the emphasis on weapons of mass destruction," Ford said. "And now, I've never publicly said I thought they made a mistake, but I felt very strongly it was an error in how they should justify what they were going to do."

When informed of the comments the president said, "Gerald who?"

JEERS to going your separate ways.  A gigantic chunk of ice has split from the North Pole.  Apparently it was a mean drunk.

CHEERS to front-page news.  Kossack jazzmaniac found a familiar name in Sunday's Chicago Tribune:

In August, Democratic presidential candidates will come a-courtin' the bloggers at the second convention of the Daily Kos blogging collective and its readers.  With the 2008 election year drawing near, the second Yearly Kos, held at McCormick Place, should outdraw the hugely popular 2006 edition and might serve as an unofficial campaign-season kickoff.

Y'know what's cool?  Instead of us asking which candidate we'd like to have a beer with, the question now is, "Which candidate would like to have a beer with us?"  We'll be in the bar at noon sharp on August 2---don’t be late, Kucinich.

JEERS to big fat jerks.  Some guy in Texas doesn’t want a mosque built next to his property, so to protest he's hosting pig races.  I hear he took the grand prize.

CHEERS to evolution in the ranks.  The former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Whose Name I Could Never Pronounce says that the military's knuckles aren't dragging on the ground anymore, so maybe it's time to give 'Don’t Ask Don’t Tell' a dishonorable discharge:

Last year I held a number of meetings with gay soldiers and marines, including some with combat experience in Iraq, and an openly gay senior sailor who was serving effectively as a member of a nuclear submarine crew. These conversations showed me just how much the military has changed, and that gays and lesbians can be accepted by their peers.

This perception is supported by a new Zogby poll of more than 500 service members returning from Afghanistan and Iraq, three quarters of whom said they were comfortable interacting with gay people. [...] I now believe that if gay men and lesbians served openly in the United States military, they would not undermine the efficacy of the armed forces.

Just don’t try to pet us while we're eating or you'll lose a hand.

CHEERS to sitting on your asp.  Out today on DVD: Snakes on a Plane.  The gripping story of Air Force One during the Bush years.

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One Year Ago in C&J: January 2, 2006...

JEERS to gas lines in the middle of Gasville.  Oh, this is lovely.  There's a fuel crisis in Iraq...the third-most oil-rich country in the world.  And in other news, Switzerland has run out of cuckoo clocks.  Film at 11.

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And just one more...

JEERS to cheap imitations.  As of yesterday there's a new law on the books in Illinois.  It says you can't pass yourself off as a famous musician if you're not one.  The fine is $50,000.  Memo to the YearlyKos organizers: I'll need to make a small change to my registration form.  You'll find it under Dmitri Shostakovich.

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Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless Testimonial:

"Cheers and Jeers is still there; it's always there. Unless it starts getting better, it's like a 10-pound weight."
---Frank Donatelli
Republican consultant

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