Much has been made over the past twenty-four hours of the tapes recently released by the AP on the briefings that Bush got just before Katrina hit New Orleans. Let's stipulate from the beginning that these tapes were released for no other reason than to try and humiliate Bush. It is part of the Bush hating psychopathology of the media. The plan might have succeeded except for some highly classified documents that I was able to obtain at breakfast this morning. Let us just say that these documents show that Bush's position and actions on Katrina were highly nuanced and showed an advanced understanding of geo-politics that many on the red meat left are either ignoring or do not understand. A careful analysis of this highly classified information suggests that Bush's response to Katrina was heroic. He put the country and the world ahead of his own political well being, something it is difficult for many of his critics to understand. I will explain below the fold.
What it is important to recognize from the Katrina briefings is that the weather person (and weather people are so often wrong to begin with) suggested that that levees might be topped. He did not say breached. That is a completely different thing. He also did not say that it would happen, he only said it was a grave, grave concern. Add to this that he did not actually mention the hurricane as the cause, but counter winds, which actually work against the hurricane and the pieces begin to fall in to place. What the highly classified information I have in my possession says is that there was actually a terror alert in New Orleans at exactly the same time. Osama Bin Laden's second cousin Harold, who had been having drinks with one of Blanco's top aides the night before, was planning to use the hurricanes as cover for actually breaching the levees of New Orleans and therefore destroying one of the great American cities. Harold was planning to use a combination of bug zappers and lighter fluid taken from cigarette lighters abandoned in the French quarter. This was all uncovered through NSA wiretaps, and I would like to point out that we would not have had this information if the NSA was forced to go through FISA, which does not take the bug zapper threat seriously. Bush was made aware of this plan through a special, super duper memo just before the Katrina briefing. After hearing the threats from the weather service Bush actually decided to do nothing about the Katrina levees or about Harold. This is because Harold is married to the thirty-fifth daughter of the emir of Dubai once removed and it would have caused a geo-political backlash. Instead Bush decided to use the topping of the levees to actually drown Harold so it would look like an accident. Harold would be next to the levees with his bug zapper and lighter fluid and the water would come over and that would be it for Harold and there would be no Harold backlash riots in the Middle East because it was an accident. Adding to the brilliance of this plan was that the topping of the levees was actually the result of counter winds so that they were working against the hurricane, helping to save New Orleans in the process. Bush took this plan directly to his super duper council of Harold, very learned men who eat their bread with butter on the right side, and it was completely vetted and investigated for flaws. Then in discussion with his inner circle it was suggested that the best course of action to take would be for Bush to pretend that there was no hurricane at all - so Harold would be completely off guard. Some of Bush's advisors claimed that this would do political damage to Bush, make it seem like he didn't care. But Bush said he did not follow polls, that the national security of the United States was his only concern, so he flew off to play with a guitar. The plan would have worked except the levees breached instead of topped. Harold is now in custody at an undisclosed location. Thank God we have a president like George Bush who cares more about national security than how he looks to the world.