Democrats Say: "We Give Up"
Republicans Declare: "Bin Laden Hates Democracy" and "insurgency in it's last throes".
Washington, D.C. FoxNews.com
Early this morning, Democratic Minority Leader Harry Reid appeared on Crapitol Hill to announce that Democrats have given up. In front of a group of journalists, lobbyists, and poverty-stricken bums, he announced a new legislative strategy designed to let the people of the United States "get exactly what they've voted for".
Reid detailed a plan under which Democrats would retreat to their home districts, citing "urgent legislative travel needs", leaving house and senate lawmaking up to elected Republican party congress members only.
When asked about this tactic, Reid replied "They want to piss in the well. Why are democrats holding the bucket for them? Let 'em pass all the anti-union, classist, pro-war and pro-terrorist breeding laws they want. We've still got the second amendment, and those troops are going to be mighty pissed if they get back and find that the minimum wage is still less than six dollars."
Senate Majority Leader Frist was busy trying to make first post on Little Green Footballs and could not be reached. Tom DeLay, reached for a comment in his central Texas bunker, saidd that "Democrats hate democracy, despite their history of fighting for leveling the playing field against the moneyed upper class. I support Vice President Dick's assertion that the insurgency in Iraq is making it's second free-throw...or last throe, or something. Please let me be; I have to meet with my kemosabe, Mr. Abramoff."