Figures of speech as applied to the current state of the nation...
10. Simile...(to compare 2 things, using the words like, as, as if, as though, as ... as):
Cheney is as exciting as a dead miser.
No wait, he may well BE a dead miser! See metaphor, next...
9. Metaphor...(to compares 2 things by saying one thing is another thing, not using like or as):
Cheney is a white whale.
8. Hyperbole (a description that is greatly exaggerated):
The attacks are WAY DOWN since Saddam was captured
Governor Dean has been proved wrong in his statement that we are ''no safer'' after the capture of Saddam Hussein...The average number of daily attacks fell to 18 in the four weeks since Dec. 14, when the coalition announced that Saddam had been captured the day before. In the four weeks before Saddam was found, attacks averaged 23 a day.
This is classic hyperbole...in the two weeks BEFORE Saddam was captured, the attacks averaged 18 per day. In the two weeks before that, the deadliest two weeks for the US military since 1991, the attacks averaged 28 per day. The attacks thus dropped to their current level in ANTICIPATION of Saddam being captured!?!
[Let's not even get into the statistical comparisons of these four weeks...since 95% is the standard "statistical proof" and values of 23 +- 6 and 18 +- 5 are not significantly different for groups of four at even 90%]
7. Alliteration (as Lobo noted, to repeat a letter or sounds, usually at the beginning of words):
Braindead Bush backtracks bigtime, beginning with lack of WMDs, continuing with no Al Qaeda link.
6. Onomatopoeia - (use of word to suggest the sound of what they are describing):
Cheney chortled as his heart stopped again.
Bush glugged another martini.
Boom went another pipe bomb under a US humvee.
Crash went another car on Governor Owen's death-trap highway construction/adult tonka toy construction set
5. Litotes (to affirm through the denial of its opposite):
Bush is no student of reduced government spending
Limbaugh is no small hypocrite
Donovan McNabb is no small reason why the Eagles are still in the playoffs
Limbaugh has learned to not hate druggies (or is this IRONY!?!?!)
4. Oxymoron (to use a contradictory phrase):
Limbaugh is one of the more intelligent cockroaches I'll ever spray Raid on
Ann Coulter is a real babe for an ugly skanked out lying dungheap of a witch
3. Hendiadys (to combine 2 or more things to make the same meaning):
Sean Hannity is a stupid, moronic, mentally-challenged, mendacious hebetudinous-brained dolt
(in this case, a Hannityadys)
2. Metonymy (to substitute one noun for another similar in meaning)
The White House said, "We'll rig the next election any way we want."
The Clark Campaign said, "Sure, I used to be Republican until I realized that the entire party had been taken over by lying, self-serving, nepotistic, evil religious freaks"
1. Personification (to give an inanimate object human characteristics)
Cheney likes to see buildings blow up (See, we pretend Cheney is human here)
Ciao, grammar fans