The
Washington Post has an exclusive story about a new, and dramatic shakeup in the White House.
They've obtained a memo from President Bush to certain members of the staff alerting them of their pink slips. The memo is scanned (at the link above), and I've transcribed some of it below:
Dear Daughters,
This is a difficult letter for me, your Dad, to write. The two of you have been, your mother and I agree, valuable members of my administration. Yes, there have been a few unfortunate moments - actually, more than a few: the underage drinking bust; the next underage drinking bust; the sticking-out-the-tongue-at the photographers-thing; the Valley Girl-style convention speech.
Once again, Cheney and Rumsfeld dominate administration policy:
Anyway, the Josh-for-Andy didn't play as big as we hoped. Now, I'm getting killed with this general-a-day drumbeat on Rummy. So Uncle Don and Uncle Dick came up with this idea of replacing you two.
Naturally, Mommy and I were pretty reluctant, at first, to give up our ''little girls''. But Uncle Don and Uncle Dick can be awfully persuasive - especially when Uncle Dick's packing heat.
Of course, a shakeup involves both a firing and a hiring:
You're proably wondering about your replacemnt. Grandpa had an idea about that. You know how he's been spending so much time with Bill Clinton lately that I've started calling him "my new brother"? Well, that got grandpa to thinking.
You probably know where this is heading, so I won't dwell too long on the topic of our new First Daughter.
Chelsea has graciously agreed to start on Friday,
The kicker is in the postscript:
PS: We want you to know it was a hard call whether to lose you or Karl. He really agonized over it.
Update [2006-4-18 16:3:26 by dmsilev]:: A note of clarification, as requested in the comments. I didn't write this, though I wish I did. The author is Washington Post columnist Ruth Marcus, who is to be commended for her excellent satire.