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From THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
First things first, and chalk this up to free advice you can take to the bank: Never trust anyone who walks without moving their arms. They are either enraged or otherwise unstable. I don't know how they do it, but it's not normal. Try it and you'll instantly see what I mean. Crazy loons.
Poll results from yesterday. Ding! Ding! Ding! Yes, Sean Hannity IS the most annoying right-wing ass on TV. Y'know who he reminds me of? Nathan Lane's evil twin. O'Reilly---in second place---would probably win the "Most Sanctimonious" award, but at least he shows evidence of having a somewhat malleable brain (silly putty vs. Hannity's 3-pound calcium deposit). So there it is. New poll today. Vote---it's good practice.
By the way, today marks C&J's 4-month anniversary. No punchline here...just a simple "Thank You" for all the kind reviews and the many Cheers and Jeers you've added to the list. I can't catch 'em all, so keep 'em coming.
Oh...today is Good Friday, so be sure to flog someone you love---in slow motion with a wordless choir.
Cheers and Jeers starts in the Extended Copy section...RIGHTNOW!
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, April 9, 2004
JEERS to Condi testimony. Evasive as expected, she says there was "no silver bullet." Except the one I nearly put through my skull while listening to her.
CHEERS to August 6 PDB. 9/11 commission demands White House release President's Daily Briefing titled, "Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States." Since Condi sloughed it off as a "historical" document, they want to---wink wink---make sure it ends up in the Smithsonian. Next to Nixon's tape recorder?
CHEERS to peace in Iraq. Sunnis and Shiites are shaking hands, kissing babies, and breaking bread. All because America united them in a common purpose: Killing us.
JEERS to 1040 madness. People still think 1040s are "too hard and they make no sense" (http://www.usatoday.com/money/perfi/taxes/2004-04-08-tax-troubles_x.htm). It doesn't help that IRS is using that huge hourglass from Wizard of Oz to count down the seconds `til Thursday.
CHEERS to Jack Smith. Emmy-winning ABC news correspondent (and son of anchor Howard K. Smith) dies of pancreatic cancer at 58. Memo to Fox: If you really want to be fair and balanced, you'll study this rock-solid reporter's work ethic.
JEERS to the Federal Communications Cabal. Levies fine of half a mil against Clear Channel for the "indecent" antics of Howard Stern (he spoke ill of Dubya). Somehow, I don't think he'll end up spinning showtunes at a 500-watter in Lakeland.
CHEERS to kickin' back. George W. Bush has spent 233 days on vacation since he took office, says CBS (via Kos front page), which translates to 13 weeks per year. That's so...French.
JEERS to Anita Mckeown. Just an average mercury-tainted Mainer who felt the urge to write a letter to the editor of the Portland Press Herald re: the Pledge of Allegiance: "Anyone who doesn't like God being in our country and our lives should go to some other country to live." Hey, if you're paying airfare and first month's rent for a loft on Amsterdamer Platz, let's talk...
CHEERS to Janeane Garofalo. C&J hasn't praised Air America's evening whippersnapper yet, so here goes: As funny as Franken, as aggressive as Randi Rhodes, and sharp as a tack. Now you know why my TV screen has so much dust on it.
CHEERS to `The Alamo.' Trust me...excellent movie. Strong cast, great battle scenes, stirring music. The John Wayne version, of course. The new one apparently sucks: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/TheAlamo-1131222/
CHEERS to Fenway Park. 92 years old today. And cursed, cursed, cursed.
CHEERS (I hope) to C&J's 4-month anniversary. What were we saying back in early December?
Flashback #1: JEERS to George W. Bush. Shuts out non-participants in bogus Iraq war from reconstruction bids, then begs for money by shoving tin cup under their noses. France, Germany, Russia just put White House on do-not-call list.
Flashback #2: JEERS to nimrods who think Saddam capture will mean halt to violence. The show's barely begun, folks.
Floor's open...what are you cheering and jeering about today?