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From THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Guten Morgen! Guten Morgen! Wie geht es ihnen? Ich bin ausgezeichnet. Es ist Freitag. Mein haar ist braun. Der stühl ist in die ecke. Der Präsident is ein arsloch (naturlich!). Und Bier schmecht gut**.
Poll results from yesterday. Overwhelmingly paper over plastic. Shame on you for not writing in the real answer: a reusable tote bag made from recycled corn stalks. We have far to go...
Have a great weekend. Cheers and Jeers starts in the Extended Copy section...RIGHTNOW!
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, March 12, 2004
CHEERS to New York Times 3/11 editorial. They stole the line I was going to use, but who cares; it's what we're all feeling: "We are all Madrileños now." I was going to say Spaniards.
JEERS to misplaced outrage. Conservative columnists (here's just one: http://www.nypost.com/postopinion/opedcolumnists/17032.htm) use tragedy in Madrid to justify war in Iraq (!) and smear John Kerry, while diverting attention from the real, history-hardened lesson: terrorist attacks will never be 100% preventable, and they will continue even if we have every soldier and operative scrubbing the mountains with toothbrushes.
JEERS to blatant stereotypes. Bush goes negative with ad that shows terrorist (well, an actor playing one) with---oh, brother---dark skin. ( http://www.tnr.com/blog/campaignjournal?pid=1440 )! Makers of Coppertone and Ban de Soleil to file joint complaint.
CHEERS to putting the above ad in perspective. Don't argue...just click: http://www.thepoorman.net/archives/002403.html#002403
JEERS to huge gobs of money. Senate passes $2.36 trillion (with a T) budget. The winners: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,82039,00.html. The loser: http://www.la.lp.org/debtclock.htm.
CHEERS to 4,161 tied knots. California Supremes finally halt gay marriages in San Francisco (but stop short of voiding those already performed). No surprise. Task ahead is to see if we can make `em stick. (Memo to atheists: if "sancitity" argument prevails, your unions will be toast by definition.)
JEERS to Bush blackmail. Top Medicare actuary says he was threatened with termination (his job, we presume...) if he revealed true cost of new prescription drug plan to lawmakers. Richard Foster calls the whole thing "nightmarish" and some Republicans are pissed. Is there an Office of Congressional Do-overs?
CHEERS to paper trails. Sens. Clinton and Graham push law guaranteeing printed receipts on electronic voting machines. And free coupon on the back for a free Slurpie®!
JEERS to anal retentives. At 9/11 memorial groundbreaking, White House issues orders: Dubya's shoes are not to touch dirt (http://www.newsday.com/news/columnists/ny-nybres113703317mar11,0,2605416.column?coll=ny-news-columni
sts). `Cause everyone knows he's so much better at walking on water.
JEERS to Friday Wall Street surge. Thaaaaaaaank you.
CHEERS to the people who make us laugh. Chris Rock tops Entertainment Weekly's list of funniest people in America. Followed by Jon Stewart, Will Farrell, and 97 Republicans.
So...what are you cheering and jeering about today?
**Translation: "To activate the defense shield, pull on the red handle and lift the shield to the desired setting. If the shield doesn't lift automatically, insert the plastic tube and inflate manually."