My sources tell me that even marines serving away from loved ones on multiple tours say they would kick Ann Coulter out for eating crackers while embedded. Further when informed that the highway from Baghdad to the airport would henceforth be called Route Coulter and the speed limit would be "lickity split" those within hearing range became violently ill.
Of greater concern is the health and safety of troops as Ms. Coulter has taken to working the streets of Tikrit and fears of her use of makeshift IUD's (Improvised Uterine Devices) made from surplus 105mm artillery shells have even blind and smelling impaired customer running scared.
When contacted Bill O'Reilly replied, "Yes we have been selling Ann's IUD's on the Factor web site for sometime and every purchaser receives a free copy of my new book The Factor For House Pets."
It is my intention to ask F. Scotty McClellan at today press briefing if the president is behind Ms. Coulters unique access to troops or whether the President is still busy preparing Anna Nicole Smith for her Supreme Court appearance.