From
Campaign Treehouse, my satire blog:
DEMOCRATIC CAMPAIGN CAUSING FRICTION AMONG HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS
NEW YORK (CT) Mired in internal conflict over the Democratic presidential campaign, the Harlem Globetrotters came within one point of their first loss to the Washington Generals in almost fifty years last night, with forward Charles "Bubba" Wells hitting a buzzer-beating jumpshot to squeak out a win.
"That was a close one," Coach "Sweet" Lou Dunbar told reporters after the game. "We're a little off our game right now, we're not converting."
Basketball analysts have noted that the Globetrotters' legendary team unity has frayed, now that team members have endorsed different presidential candidates.
The most vocal confrontation came during a time-out in the second quarter, when Dunbar asked guard Matt Jackson, who's endorsed Senator Joseph Lieberman, to inbound the ball to Howard Dean supporter Seth "Hot 'n' Fresh" Franco. Jackson responded, "If I give him the ball, is he gonna take my middle-class tax cut, too?" Franco got in his teammate's face and shouted, "We're taking the ball, and we're taking the country back, too!"
After halftime, center Ron Rollerson, a vocal supporter of Dennis Kucinich's antiwar policies, refused to rebound any shots taken by Kris Bruton, a supporter of General Wesley Clark.
The Generals, who all endorsed the reelection campaign of President George W. Bush months ago, came out unified and strong from the opening tip-off, passing, shooting and executing plays. They led for most of the fourth quarter, coming up short only because the Globetrotters' collective talent masked their lack of teamwork.
Former Globetrotters legend George "Meadowlark" Lemon called for unity at a press conference this morning. "Look, we love the vigorous debate as much as anyone," said Lemon, who was the Trotters' "Clown Prince of Basketball" for years. "But in the end, the Globetrotters have got to work together and beat the Generals."