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From THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, February 9, 2004
CHEERS to Tim Russert. Takes Bush out behind the woodshed for a whuppin'...if only a mild one. It was enough to make W look confused, tentative and...now, let me finish...defensive. Even conservatives rolled their eyes.
JEERS to hunt for Osama. Will we find him? Old Bush: "We will not falter, we will not fail." New Bush: "I have no idea." Um...didn;t he used to be Public Enemy #1?
CHEERS to solving AWOL flap. Flyboy agrees to release "everything" to settle absentee charges. Unfortunately, that can only mean the incriminating stuff is long gone.
JEERS to curious priorities, Part I. When asked why he is the first president since Lincoln to "drain money from the Treasury" during wartime with tax cuts, Bush responds: "I'm more worried about the fellow looking for the job. That's what I'm worried about." Yeah but..but...how do I put this delicately...job-seekers aren't getting blown up by bombs in donkey carts.
JEERS to curious priorities, Part II. The President mentioned Saddam 21 times by name, and 6 times as a "madman." He mentioned Osama...once.
JEERS to history repeating itself. Bush says, "The thing about the Vietnam War that troubles me as I look back was it was a political war. We had politicians making military decisions." Ah, I see. So You, Condi, Colin, Don, Karl, et al. are just funky friends in a garage band tryin' to "keep it real." Rock on, dude.
CHEERS to Democratic election chances. Bush---channeling Edward G. Robinson---snarls, "I'll tell you, though, I'm not going to change, see?" Cut from the interview: "Just try to take me alive, copper...I'll fill yer belly so full `o lead you'll look like Swiss cheese, see?"
CHEERS to Dennis Kucinich. Thanks to his elfin magic, he comes in third in Maine---his best showing yet. There was so much soy milk flowin' afterwards that most of his supporters were late to work this morning.
CHEERS to happier memories. You say you want a revolution? You got it, mate. It was 40 years ago today, The Beatles appeared on Ed Sullivan Show. And all 8 nipples were securely covered.
CHEERS to the important Grammy winners last night: Bill Clinton, Mikhail Gorbachev & Sophia Loren...Al Franken...Weird Al Yankovic...Aretha Franklin...Tony Bennett...the cast of "A Mighty Wind." CBS had the ceremony on a tape-delay to avoid a repeat of the Super Bowl fiasco. The signal should arrive at your TV set by Wednesday.
CHEERS to Great Music. 18-time Grammy winner John Williams gave us Darth Vader's theme, the Indiana Jones March, the "dumdumdumdum" of Jaws, and the sublime NBC News theme. Happy 72nd birthday, Maestro. Half of my CD collection has your name on it.
JEERS to Crappy Music. Whoever chose the theme for This Week's "In Memoriam" segment should be flogged. Those warbling, sawing strings sound like `Jaws' trippin' on Valium.
What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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