Just thought I would post a quick diary about my lack of participation here lately. Last Sunday my Mom ended up in ICU and is still in the hospital. She is expected to be released tomorrow, and will stay with us (she lives in San Fran, but I brought her to the hospital here in San Jose) while she recovers.
My Mom had pneumonia, and a number of other things, thankfully she is on the mend, but as she is 78 doesn't "bounce" back as she has before.
More.....
Perhaps the hardest thing right now is the fact that she is going to have to sell her home and move into an assisted living apartment. She had hoped to live in her home until she died, but the layout of the house just will not allow her to get around in the house (too many stairs, too big and so on). Thankfully her home sale should cover any and all costs of her new apartment, and she will also be as independent as ever, except she will have more people around her as well as a nurse checking her more often (when she gets sick she refuses to go to the hospital until it is a crisis situation, as was last Sunday).
She has worked so hard all of her life, and now at 78 is having "issues" with not being able to do the chores she has always done. For decades she supported three children by being a waitress, working a split shift, saving her tip money so that we had all the things we needed.
I have never had to work like she did, never had to face the hardships, never had to deal with raising children on my own, never had to get up to go to work because if I didn't my family didn't eat, she always did what she had to do for everyone except for herself, and now I am fighting with her to take care of herself.
My Mom could drive you nuts within 10 minutes, and I have had an up and down relationship with her, yet while she is driving you nuts one just comes to love my Mom. The hardest thing for me right now is convincing her that she can afford to live in the best situation available (she has this "thought" that all she has worked for is for her children, that she somehow shouldn't and can't "use" it).
Last night before I left the hospital it hit her that she wasn't going to go back to her home of so many decades, and while it was somewhat a relief to know that she is able to see that she now needs an assisted living situation, the reality of it all is sinking in for her, and for me.
For almost 40 years she has lived in her home, filled it with furniture, held more parties then you could imagine. We have celebrated life, death, birthdays, all major life events in her home. After my wedding my Mom continued the reception at her home (my new husband and I went to my Mom's house after the reception to change and she was literally throwing us out as her "guests" were arriving and we were supposed to be gone). Her baby grand piano sits quietly in the living room, waiting for its owner to sit and play as she has so many times before, her garden alive with flowers and plants awaits her, and the kitchen that she has sat in for so many decades watching TV, visiting with friends is a place filled with things yet emptier than the most barren room.
As my Mom will be with my family for a while, I may not be posting much here, neither diaries or comments, but will try to read and recommend diaries as I can.