Marriage must be defended from religious bigots and oppressors.
I reject any attempt by religious people to presume to claim that marriage is the exclusive domain of the church. I reject their reference to the "sanctity of marriage" in their attempt to justify the oppression of minorities. "Sanctity" is a religious concept and has no legal or logical standing in affairs of state in a secular society.
The church does not own the word "marriage" any more than it owns "good", or "evil", or "morality".
A marriage performed by a priest is legally recognized by the state only if a marriage license is issued by the state. A license from the state is a requirement, not an option.
A marriage performed by a judge needs nor requires no permission, nor blessing, from any priest to be legally recognized by the state. A blessing from a priest is an option, not a requirement.
Therefore there is no logical, legal or constitutional basis for any church to seek to impose its own definition on the word "marriage". The church is subordinate in this matter, not the state.
Therefore the state is perfectly entitled to define or redefine the meaning of the word "marriage" in accordance with the wishes of its citizens and its constitution. In fact, that is why the spiteful Defense of Marriage Act is illegal, immoral and unconstitutional.
The separation of church and state quite explicitly forbids any religion from imposing its beliefs on the state or its citizens or even using its funds to influence the outcome of an election. Any church which uses its funds to that end can have its tax exemption removed.
Therefore, although the state cannot proscribe any religion, it can refuse to recognize a religion for the purpose of the applicability of US Law. The church is subordinate in this matter, not the state.
As it should be in a free and equal democratic society.
As it is stated so clearly in the US constitution.
QED
From a personal point of view, you have the constitutional right to define the meaning of a marriage performed in your church and I will defend your right so to do. But only there. I am not a member of your church and I will not kneel to the tyranny of any prince of any church or his acolytes.
The Tabby Badger