It's beginning to look a lot like hugely overplayed talking point season, everywhere you go.
Boss Creations, a new holiday decor company, has introduced the new "CHRIST-mas" Tree, featuring the unique trait of a trunk in the shape of a wooden cross. Company owner Marsha Boggs says the tree was specifically designed to counter the "war on Christmas."
"When I became a Christian a few years ago," says Boggs, "I was appalled by the secularization of the Christmas holiday. When retail stores started substituting 'Happy Holidays' for 'Merry Christmas,' and schools began calling their Christmas programs 'Winter Plays,' it all seemed ridiculous to me. That's why we have created products that remind people what the Christmas season is really all about - the birth of Christ."
The "CHRIST-mas" Tree is size adjustable up to 7.5 foot tall to accommodate various ceiling sizes. Additionally, the company offers ornaments, wreaths and gift items all with Christian-based themes.
One has to assume that the ornament collection includes a variety of spears and nails, along with a shiny crown of of light up thorns for the top. At the base of the tree you can replace that secular skirt with a robe, complete with included dice for gambling and weak seams for easy tearing. Don't forget to keep your tree moist with a 50-50 mix of water and blood.
Oh, and did anyone check those stockings in the back to see if they include festive puncture wounds? Because hey, there's no better way of commemorating Jesus' birth than by fetishizing his death.