According to scientific and professional sources, the Bill of Rights, one of America's most important social and political documents, may be a fake. (
Parody - Rated 'MH' for 'Mildly Herniating')
WASHINGTON (Cheese Star) According to scientific and professional sources, the Bill of Rights, one of America's most important social and political documents, may be a fake.
"We feel there's enough evidence to call [the Bill of Rights] into question," said Jessi Kobenski, a spokesperson for the watchdog group, Accuracy In Media, whose members are part of a scientific and forged documents analytical team examining the Bill. "There are just too many things wrong with it."
Several months ago, questions were raised on the floor of the House by Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-TX), and in the Senate by Trent Lott (R-Miss) over the authenticity of the Bill.
"I personally think somebody back in the [19]30's could've played with it," said Lott. "Get people rialed up. You know, these documents spent years posted up on a public bulliten board. Who knows what could have happened? We need to get to the truth, and there are some people who don't want that to happen."
Various conservative groups launched immediate email and telephone campaigns to "seek the truth" about the document's alleged genuineness. In a bold and controversial move, president George W. Bush signed an Executive order establishing a "non-partisan panel" to review and examine the Bill.
Congressional Democrats and other groups have been equally vocal that such an examination is unnecessary. A finding that the document is a forgery "could call into question the first ten Articles of the Constitution from a legal perspective," said Doris Stanley, a Washington attorney for the ACLU. "That has ominous implications for the country and our judicial system."
The panel's findings will not be ready for several months. While the White House has been quiet on the controversy, the president did reply when asked a question at his Crawford, Texas ranch. "Democracy's hard work," Mr. Bush told the reporters. "Sometimes, you have to break eggs to bake a really good pie."
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