Christmas is usually a bust for me. It somehow leaves me empty and wanting something deeper. I hunger for something different.
This Christmas, I am feeling especially contemplative. I've been reading Gandhi, Thomas Merton, Martin Luther King, Jr. and Edward Said. I've been writing and reflecting. This is what Christmas is supposed to be. I'm going to the Gaza Freedom March on Christmas Day and I've never been more happy or sad in all my life.
I've been active on Daily Kos for almost one year. I logged on during the war on Gaza that began last December to see how people were reacting to the horrible images I was seeing on my television screen--images of bleeding children, bombed out schools and white phosphorous raining down. I never thought that this place would turn into a type of obsession--a sanctuary at times. I think of many of the regulars in the Palestine/Israel diaries as friends.
Thanks to you simone daud, unspeakable, fire bad tree pretty, jon the antizionist jew, zannie, terra mystica, heathlander, callmecassandra, tom j, litho, christopher day, sortalikenathan, aunt martha. sofia, blueness, assaf and many others for your support this past year. Gaza has haunted me, and you were always there to listen to me, to help me test my ideas, and to mourn with me. I love you all.
In your honor (and especially for simone daud for his beautiful diary of yesterday), I offer you this reflection:
Why I am Going to Gaza
Because Palestine keeps me up at night
Because my kids are a "demographic threat"
Because I am not taken seriously because I am a Palestinian
Because anyone who does take me seriously is called an anti-semite
Or a self-hating Jew
Because I can’t imagine the anguish of the people there--
and because I can
Because I’ve lived comfortably for too long
Because an ice storm that cuts off electricity for a week leaves me
crazy and being a refugee for 61 years is too long
Because living comes from feeling deep hurt and love and not from
Christmas presents
Because suffering makes us real
Because my community loves me
Because my family loves me
Because I love....
I am going because I belong to a strong and committed humanistic
tradition:
Palestinian: Ghassan Kanafani, Mahmoud Darwish, Edward Said, Suheir Hammad;
and Quaker: Lucretia Mott, Walt Whitman, Rufus Jones.
Because others would do it for me
I am going to Gaza because Hedy is going...and she helps me tell
Palestinians that Jews are not devils or angels, they are human beings
I am going to Gaza because J'Ann is going and she helps me tell
Palestinians that Americans are not devils or angels, they are human
beings;
and I know they will hold hands with those with broken souls and mourn with them
And finally because you, dear people, will be here waiting when I
return to listen to me, to cry with me and to help me know what to do
with my grace and my burden.
I wish you a most meaningful holiday season.
Please pray for Gaza.