In tomorrow's State of the Union speech, Bush will
propose job-training grants for community colleges to "prepare American workers for today's economy".
Love Deb Reichmann's (the article's author's) turn-of-phrase, there. Since this is Bush's Economy, that means these grants would support the following courses, by department:
Psychology:
Handling Rejection 201: From the "Don't Call Us, We'll Call You" to the Pink Slip
Phys-Ed:
Creative Loafing 208: Stave off Depression and Spare Your Arse Some Sores in This Jobless Recovery
Economics:
Practical Unemployment 101. Includes free starter kit (pre-printed form, #2 pencil [as budgets allow], and one-way bus pass to local Unemployment office [redeemable upon graduation])
English:
Resume Padding 304, The Revised Course: Learn How to Pad Your Resume in the New Economy, Competing for Low-Paying, Benefit-Less, Overtime-Less Jobs in a Non-Hiring Market
Foreign Language:
Spanish, Hindi, and Korean (All Courses): Travel and Get Your Old Job Back!
History:
From Hoover to Bush 401: A Comparative Study of the Only Presidents to Preside Over 4 Years of Lost Jobs
Note: From Hoover to Bush 401 will no longer be offered, as it was discovered that the professor was an Allah-loving, anti-American threat to national security and has been deported.