(crossposted at GOPaint)
The second installment of a look ahead to potential 2012 GOP presidential tickets
Part 1: Grumpy Old Men
If you talk to talk to the average Republican these days (the one in 5 Americans who will admit belonging to the GOP) and they will wax poetic about two of their most beloved leaders: Sarah Palin and Bobby Jindal. The Right's adoration of Caribou Barbie and Kenneth the Page says it all about the state of the party right now. Because, as we all know, nothing says "serious and mainstream" like witches.
By now, Sarah Palin is old news. We all know about her proclivity for shooting wolves from helicopters. We know about her bizarre family, her secessionist hillbilly of a husband(isn't secession considered treason? Maybe we should ask Rick Perry....) and her lavish spending (stealing) onher own wardrobe. But one of the most bizarre (and humorous) things about Gov. Palin is her association with Thomas Muthee the Kenyan Witchdoctor:
"Pastor Muthee was here and he was praying over me, and you know how he speaks and he’s so bold," she said. "And he was praying ‘Lord make a way, Lord make a way’ ... He said, ‘Lord make a way and let her do this next step.’ And that’s exactly what happened."
For those of you who enjoy the clip as much as I do:
Bizarre stuff right? Well, not so bizarre if you're part of the "new wave" of conservatives. The other half of my proposed ticket can actually one up Palin on this one. You see, if you missed it, Bobby Jindal is an Exorcist:
Bobby Jindal: Exorcist. It has a nice ring to it. The story originally gained traction nationally was being considered as as a potential VP for Grampy McCain. TPM's excellent reporting on the subject can be found here.
As others noted during his 2003 and 2007 gubernatorial campaigns, in an essay Jindal wrote in 1994 for the New Oxford Review, a serious right-wing Catholic journal, Jindal narrated a bizarre story of a personal encounter with a demon, in which he participated in an exorcism with a group of college friends. And not only did they cast out the supernatural spirit that had possessed his friend, Jindal wrote that he believes that their ritual may well have cured her cancer.
Now, I don't know about you, but I'm really not ready for another president who doesn't believe in science. In fact, one of Obama's biggest selling points is that he will (hopefully) put us back on the road to being world leaders in science and technology. The anti-science movement has two friends in the witch doctor duo - neither Palin nor Jindal believe in evolution. Even scarier, both Palin and Jindal want "intelligent design" and/or creationism taught in public schools:
Jindal:
I personally think that the life, human life and the world we live in wasn't created accidentally. I do think that there's a creator. I'm a Christian. I do think that God played a role in creating not only earth, but mankind. Now, the way that he did it, I'd certainly want my kids to be exposed to the very best science. I don't want them to be-I don't want any facts or theories or explanations to be withheld from them because of political correctness.
Which explains why Gov. Jindal signed legislation that allows Louisiana schools to "teach" "intelligent design". Yes that's right, Louisiana tax-dollars are being spent "teaching" kids creationist ID bullshit. Not just that, but that "Louisiana Science Education Act" also encourages schools to teach alternate theories for crazy things like global warming. Now THAT'S someone I want running the country.
Palin is just as bad, although to her credit she hasn't actually signed any ID/creationist legislation into law yet):
In a 2006 gubernatorial debate, the soon-to-be governor of Alaska said of evolution and creation education, "Teach both. You know, don’t be afraid of education. Healthy debate is so important, and it’s so valuable in our schools. I am a proponent of teaching both."
And who can forget this gem:
Soon after Sarah Palin was elected mayor of the foothill town of Wasilla, Alaska, she startled a local music teacher by insisting in casual conversation that men and dinosaurs coexisted on an Earth created 6,000 years ago -- about 65 million years after scientists say most dinosaurs became extinct -- the teacher said.
It's easy to rip on these two. Remember Jindal's "Something Called Volcano Monitoring" moment?
Followed by the eruption, a month later, by Mt. Redoubt. Oh the irony is delicious. Typical conservative anti-science, "anti-spending" (hahaha) garbage. Yes, let's stop tracking and planning for natural disasters. Wouldn't want to "waste" money. Didn't we already see the tragic result when the Government doesn't spend enough on or pay enough attention to potential disasters? The Boston Globe summed up Jindal (and his February response to President Obama's congressional address) quite well:
Insane. Childish. Disaster.
And yet, conservatives still love him. If you're bored and have a barf-bag handy, check out the unofficial Jindal 2012 blog.
Witchcraft, "intelligent design" and general insanity aside, Jindal and Palin have other things in common. For example, both have extensively bashed Democrats and President Obama as being "socialists". Of course Jindal had no problem accepting Louisiana's share of the ~href="30 Billion in Federal relief for Hurricane Katrina. How "conservative" of Gov. Jindal. Perhaps he should have rejected those funds like he tried to reject $98 Million from the 2009 stimulus?
While we're knee deep in hypocrisy, let's remember Gov. Palin's socialist tendencies:
Welcome to the People's Republic of Alaska, where every resident this year will get a $3,200 payout, thanks in no small measure to the efforts of Sarah Palin, the state's Republican governor. ...Since 1982, the Alaska Permanent Fund, which invests oil revenues from state lands, has paid out a dividend on invested oil loot to everyone who has been in the state for a year..
Ah yes, a windfall profit tax on oil companies which is then distributed to the residents of Alaska. How "conservative" of you, Gov. Palin.
It's fun to laugh and point at how ridiculous and idiotic Palin and Jindal are, but the danger is real. It wasn't that long ago that an evolution-denying, "financial conservative" (hahahaha!), religious nut was in the White House. The guy who declared that our continuing adventure in the middle east was a "quest from God", put science and safe sex on the shelf in favor of the proven to be ineffective abstinence only education, buried FEMA - a very effective department under Bill Clinton - in the monstrosity of the DHS and put an Arabian Horse Show Commissioner in charge of our disaster response agency. Let's not even get started on social issues like abortion, gay rights and health care.
Even in America, even in the 21st Century, these people can win. As Sam Harris said in 2006:
A person who believes that Elvis is still alive is very unlikely to get promoted to a position of great power and responsibility in our society. Neither will a person who believes that the holocaust was a hoax. But people who believe equally irrational things about God and the bible are now running our country. This is genuinely terrifying.