So for my final English paper I had to write a compare and contrast paper. I chose to write mine on my former beliefs on gay marriage and my beliefs now. I wrote a blog on here about when I changed my mind, so I thought putting the paper on here would be of interest.
I got a 90 because I deviated from the proper organizational pattern and always.. I suck at grammar!
Keep in mind the first part of the paper is referring to my former beliefs. There is a statement in there that might be deemed offensive, but it is no longer true!
"The Truth is in Between the Lies"
Marriage is a sacred institution between one man and one woman. It is a bond that cannot easily be broken; it is a bond that is to last forever. However, I do not believe this anymore. I have attended Christian schools all my life. Though none of my family were predominately Christians, the private school system seemed safer. I was indoctrinated from a very young age to believe a certain set of ‘moral’ values about life. After high school, I became very liberal, yet I still held on to these values. My Christian walk depended on following what the preacher said, not what I thought was right. I pushed a friendship away on the basis of my Christian beliefs. On November 10th, 2008, everything I thought I knew changed. I had witnessed the silence of the conservatives and liberals throughout the presidential campaign on the issue of gay marriage. In the end, a law in California repealed the rights of gay citizens to marry. My thoughts on the subject have changed drastically over this past year. Both sides fight valiantly in the war over marriage; they both believe they are right. I have waged the war on both sides, and only now have I won.
When I was two-years-old my parents divorced. Like so many others, I was raised in a single parent home. We never attended church services, but it was required in my school to go to chapel once a week. The services I was attending never got into deep subjects until I was in middle school. There were three clear recurring themes: abortion, sexual education, and homosexuality. I once sided with the church on all three of these subjects, until I started thinking about them in depth. By the time I was twenty-one, homosexuality was the only issue I continued to side with the church on. It was always a black and white issue and I never really considered that I might be wrong. When I started attending regular church services on my own, this issue was thrown in my face even more. It is okay to be a democrat, but do not ever agree with homosexuals. They are horrible, sinful people that have no respect for God almighty. All of those who are gay will be thrown into the pit of hell, unless we convert them and turn them straight. This was my strong held belief. When I was in eleventh grade, I was attending school chapel services on Tuesday and Thursday and attending church services on Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. Five days out of the week I was a ‘super-Christian’. During one of my school chapel services, an ‘ex-gay’ man was preaching. This man claimed he had been in the deep and dark depths of homosexual sin, but now he was married to a woman, had kids, worked as a hair stylist, and it was all because of the glory of God. I was overjoyed for this man; he had seen the light. God had delivered him from hell and brought him to heterosexual joy. The preacher spoke and I believed.
While I was attending high school, I met a man name Jared; he was in the same grade as me, but he was different. Jared was gay. Everyone but the teachers knew about it, and he was severely picked on because of it. Jared was my friend, but the more religious I became; the more I pushed him away. I thought that because I was a Christian, I could not be friends with a gay man. The social environment I was in forced me to end the friendship. Even then, I knew that the reasons why I made my decision were wrong, yet I never could take it back. I later apologized to Jared, and we became good friends after high school. To this day, I can only account for a handful of gays and lesbians that I have met. Within my social circles, there are very few.
After high school I was outcast for my liberal beliefs by Christians and was outcast by liberals for my Christian beliefs. I was always in the midst of chaos, never hot nor cold, always lukewarm. Liberal Christians are always considered to be sinners in the eyes of God, but I was hoping that my heterosexual values would save me from the fire. When the recent election race came, I was overjoyed to find that both my favorite candidates were against same sex marriage. It was okay to vote for them, because I agreed with them on most everything. This was my first chance to vote in the presidential race, so I wanted to make sure I made the right decision. At the time, I knew nothing about politics, but I learned a lot by watching this election. People say a lot of things to get voted in, yet it was clear that some issues were not to be discussed. Gay marriage was a big issue, yet none of the primary candidates supported it. The entire gay community had no voice. This was most likely the primary reason why proposition eight, banning same-sex marriage, passed in California.
I still attend church on a regular basis and I am planning to become a youth pastor. Through this entire experience I have learned one valuable thing. Every word spoken from a pulpit is not necessarily true. It is so important to look deeper into the subjects being taught. The popular thing is not always the right thing. It is a sad situation to be in. However, I refuse to let anyone spread fear and hate; Jesus’ message has been slandered enough. I no longer applaud the idea of turning someone straight. I truly believe that it is impossible to do so. Similarly, I still praise God for the people that turn to Christianity, but I am hesitant to think that just because someone is gay means they are sinners. We have all fallen short of the glory of God. The mass propaganda is only released to cover up the sins of the ones pointing the fingers. I choose to point the finger at myself now. Hate, that is what it really is, cannot solve anything. It will only spread into young minds and cause them to grow in hate. I was one of them.
My decision to cut Jared out of my life was for the wrong reasons. If I could go back, I would still distance myself from him, but not because he was gay. Jared was a very bad influence on me. He was one of the primary reasons why I started smoking and drinking at a very young age. Looking back, I understand why he was like that. He didn’t have a good home life and he was constantly antagonized for his sexual preference. I wish I could have been there to help him, instead of pushing him away like I did. He just needed someone to talk to, and I was not there to help. We were the same in a lot off ways; the only difference was that he was gay. That should not have hindered our friendship. Being gay is not wrong.
On November 10th everything changed. Because I had become increasingly political, I started watching different news casts. My favorite has been "Countdown with Keith Olbermann". I watched that night as he did a special comment on proposition eight in California and his words hit me to the core. I was wrong. I had been wrong. It was not because I was a liberal. It was not because I was a Christian. It was because I realized how horrible it is to discriminate against anyone. My realization made me see some things I didn’t see before. No one in the 2008 election fought for the rights of homosexuals. No one cared; they all remained silent. The gays and lesbians in America had no voice to fight for them. They had the odds stacked against them against all the churches and massive donations in California. There was no way to win and because of that, there rights were stripped away. Whether democrat or republican, liberal or conservative: everyone deserves the same rights and privileges. I realize this now.
Marriage is not about religion. It is not about friends. It is not about politics. Marriage is about love. Denying the right of consensual adults to marry is wrong. I once thought that same-sex marriage was wrong, but now I realize the truth. The sad thing is that love does not conquer all. In this world, money conquers all. I was the person that listened to everything I heard in the pulpit. I was the person that shunned away friends. I was the person that listened to politics only. I was lost, but now I am found. I was blind, but now I can see. There is a war going on, and both sides battle. The truth is in between the lies.