Ever notice the sound a galloping horse makes in films & television shows? According to Hollywood, horse-hooves make a clickety-clack noise of coconuts being banged together. Anyone who's ever ridden a horse knows this isn't true, but yet it persists. Why? Audiences have become so accustom to the sound effect when seeing a horse on-screen that it's expected, and when the clickety-clack isn't present it's even more jarring. In a way, reality becomes unrealistic. TV Tropes calls this type of thing "The Coconut Effect."
Almost every film employs a certain amount of tried & true cliches, conventions, formulas, and stereotypes to create a story. In a good film these type of things are usually forgiven, since the audience doesn't really notice 'em. However, in bad films they stand out like a sore thumb. Some cliches & stereotypes are in the "so bad it's good" category, and are often parodied & satirized. On the other end of the spectrum are the ones that are the very definition of "politically incorrect."
So, with all that in mind, what are the worst film cliches & conventions used by Hollywood?
Like I wrote above, whether cliches & stereotypes work in a film is usually dependent on the quality of the script & how they're used. Let's begin with some of the often used cliches & conventions used in action films.....
- The hero is exceptionally skilled, yet misunderstood with inner angst.
- The hero's angst is usually worked into the plot, where the situation allows a chance at redemption or revenge.
- The revenge flick... A father/brother/son/friend must avenge a death perpetrated by a gang of assholes. He must kill off the members one by one in increasingly sadistic ways. All members of the gang will be easy to kill, except for the gang leader, which requires a long battle that eventually devolves into a slow-motion fist fight.
- The hero will have no backup when dealing with the final confrontation, since reinforcements are always "10 minutes out," and show up after the main villain has been dead for a few seconds.
- The other cops/soldiers he or she works with usually have some sort of issue that they're holding against the hero. The hero is usually distrusted among other members of his/her profession.
- During the second act, when there is a chance of catching the villains, the other members of the hero's unit can not set up a perimeter to literally save their lives.
- The main character will have one ally that has his/her back, and would follow the hero into hell if that's what it requires. This ally can have skills, which are good but not quite as good as the hero. However, the ally might be useless, and only exist within the film as the emotional bait used by the villain. The ally could also be the film's love interest.
- No matter how much good the hero has done. No matter how many lives he/she may have saved. At the first instance of trouble, the powers that be will disregard all of the hero's advice & pursue the most dumbass policy possible.
- If there are more than two leads in said action film, the two characters will be from different cultural backgrounds. The "buddy cop" action film allows for a message of diversity, while also kicking criminal ass.
- A different variant of this are the action films that use the "Trading Places" formula. A white cop that has to go into a minority community to find his man, or a black cop that has to go into Beverly Hills to find his man.
- After doing a number of just straight action films, the action film star is required to do an action film where he must act with children, and have an "oh so cute" moment before kicking criminal ass.
- Criminals can not hit a damn thing with their guns, except within the last 15 minutes of the film, where they might wound the hero in order to make his/her victory somewhat more heroic.
- At some point in the second act, all hope will seemingly be lost, or someone important to the lead character will be horribly hurt/killed. The action hero must show his displeasure by going nuts, destroying his office, or screaming out loud for a prolonged period. A good example of this is 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine', where Wolverine gets mad at the sky & screams at it about 3 times in the movie.
- Unlike real drug dealers/organized criminals who value anonymity, movie criminals like to advertise their profession. In the recent 'Fast & Furious', a Mexican drug cartel shuts down an entire Los Angeles city street for a block party/driver tryouts. Now it's been a while since I've run a drug cartel, but usually you don't want the fastest. You want the quietest.
Movies are not really meant to reflect reality. They can comment on reality. They can tell a story based on reality. But if people want reality, they would look out a window instead of going to a theater or buying a TV. So when telling a story, certain liberties have to be taken. A lot of times when watching a film, I wonder which profession gets the most pissed watching film depictions of their trade? Real doctors watching Hollywood medicine? Real lawyers watching Hollywood legal proceedings? Or maybe real scientists watching Hollywood physics?
- When a person's heart goes into Asystole (flatline), the correct procedure is NOT to reach for paddles & start juicing their heart (as they do in many, many movies & TV shows). In fact it will make things worse (usually the proper thing to do is CPR, epinephrine, atropine, etc.)
- Most legal thrillers completely botch criminal procedure & just a fundamental understanding of constitutional law. Testimony, evidence, and lawyer/judge behavior is allowed that would never be permitted at a "real" trial. A good example of this is the Ashley Judd film 'Double Jeopardy.' A first-year law student could tell you the double jeopardy rule doesn't work the way its portrayed in the film.
- If Hollywood lawyers botch legal 101, Hollywood scientists usually maul fundamental tenets of science. Any & all films are not constrained by the laws of physics, but operate under the laws of physics as imagined in the filmmaker's head. Sometimes the two are very close, but sometimes they can deviate greatly. One infamous example of this is 'The Core,' where a group of scientists create a craft that could never be built, to do things it can't possibly do, so it can go to a place it can't possibly go, to take care of a problem that would have probably resulted in the instant destruction of everything on Earth if it really happened.
- The abilities of computers, computer hackers, and anything related to a computer are greatly exaggerated or just plain wrong in most films. Angelina Jolie's 'Hackers' is an odd relic of the 90s, where it imagines computer hackers as being a cross between Best Buy's Geek Squad & New York City club kids. "Hack The Planet!"
- Government agents in the movies are either corrupt, inept, or part of a global conspiracy to take over the world. The main character might be the one "good" government worker fighting the system. If the lead character is a child fighting the system, government workers will inevitably show up to make his/her life a living hell. Child social workers can never see true love, and will invariably rip kids away from loving parents. If an alien lands to say hello to humanity, the government will try to kill it, experiment on it, or fuck up the alien's plan to help humanity. If a kid is trying to help an alien, the government will fuck that up too.
One of the best genres that has a long ingrained set of conventions & cliches is
horror movies. In horror movies bad things happen to the characters if they break certain rules.....
- Teenagers + Premarital Sex = They Will Die.
- Also, as your friends/family are being hacked to bits day after day, it just sets the mood and always the perfect time to have sex with the boyfriend (who may or may not be the killer).
- Teenagers + Alcohol & Drug Use = They Will Die.
- Instead of running out the front door, when confronted by serial killer/monster/alien, characters will instead trap themselves inside their domicile by running up the stairs, or into dark basements & closets.
- If said characters should be smart enough to run out the front door, brand new cars, which had no sign of problems earlier in the film, usually have problems starting.
- Do NOT go into the bathroom!!! Bad shit lurks in bathtubs & behind shower curtains.
- Do NOT go into the woods if you hear an eerie sound coming from that direction! Whatever it is can stay in the fucking woods. Let the raccoons, squirrels & deer deal with it.
- If the lights go out, do NOT look for the circuit breaker! Look for the damn door!
- Cellphones & flashlights are affected with either low batteries or no signal at the most innoportune times.
- If something from outer space should land near you, instead of running the fuck away, be curious and run up & poke at it.
- Apparently all evil monsters, aliens and serial killers are racists, since people of color hardly ever survive, and usually die first in horror movies.
- "Hey, did you hear that? It sounds like screaming and a death rattle coming from the other room. Let's Go Check It Out!"
- If in a group larger than 3 people, the characters must not do the logical thing of staying together when trying to escape from the haunted house, scary-ass woods or other place in the middle of nowhere. No, they must split up so they "Can Cover More Ground" and be killed off one by one.
- People over the age of 30 are useless. This includes the police and anyone of any authority. No matter how much evidence you may have that weird shit is happening, your parents will not believe you. In fact, the more you protest, the more they will think you are crazy and take actions that will indirectly help the killer to kill you (example: parents in the 'Nightmare On Elm Street' films loading their kids up with sleeping pills).
- No matter how much a scientist is told their experiment is dangerous, this supposedly smart person will ignore all the warnings staring him/her in the face and proceed to horrifically mutate himself and others, or put the world/galaxy/universe in danger.
- The character set-up at the beginning of the film as the town drunk/idiot/batshit crazy person will always know more than everyone else by the end of the film. In fact, at some point toward the end, he will explain the entire plot to the main character (and audience), as well as the motivation for the monster/killer.
- The lead female character, who has done nothing but scream, run, and cry for 90% of the movie, will display a clever genius-level intellect by film's end, when confronting the unspeakable evil.
- No villain is ever dead, even when killed in the way that is supposed to kill them once & for all.
Then there are the
romantic comedies.....
- Guy gets girl. Guy does something mind-numbingly stupid, or a horrible misunderstanding occurs that causes him to lose girl. Guy gets girl back in the final scene & they live happily ever after.
- Guy secretly loves girl who see him as just a friend. Girl dates jerk. Guy rescues girl, and she realizes he's her true love, and they live happily ever after.
- Guy loves girl who is a bad person. Guy's best friend, who happens to be female, is secretly in love with him. Guy realizes in the final act that his female best friend is his true love, and they live happily ever after.
- Guy from the wrong side of the tracks is in love with high-society Girl. Guy & girl's parents disapprove of their coupling. However, in the end, love conquers all, and they live happily ever after.
- Nerdy guy pines away for the school cheerleader/popular girl. Through a series of wacky & zany circumstances, the two become friends. The more popular girl gets to know nerdy guy, the more she fall in love. A misunderstanding will occur that threatens to doom their budding relationship, before they declare their true love in the final scene & live happily ever after.
- Nerdy girl pines away for the school quarterback/jock. After getting a makeover, which consists of removing her glasses, putting on makeup, and getting her hair done, Nerdy girl finally gets a date with school quarterback/jock. However, she realizes how superficial he is at the last moment, and rushes back into the arms of the nerdy guy that loved her pre-makeover to live happily ever after.
Now all of these different film formulas & conventions also use varying character stereotypes to some degree. Some are benign, but some are
cringe worthy. Such is the case for the stereotypes attached to two Autobots called
Skids &
Mudflap in Michael Bay's '
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.'
Most reviews of the film see it as a failure on epic 'Batman & Robin'/'Phantom Menace' proportions. How the fuck do you mess up a movie with a $200 million budget, Megan Fox in Daisy-dukes straddling a Harley, and big fucking robots hitting each other? I mean this shit should write itself. I grew up with the Transformers & liked the first film, but Michael Bay has fucked this one up by taking everything that didn't work in the first movie, and amplifying it. It is a wretched film. Not only does the movie suck, and suck hard, but the movie has Autobots Mudflap (a Chevrolet Trax) and Skids (a Chevrolet Beat) who are pretty much walking/rolling black stereotypes that are so blatant it wouldn't be any worse if they at some point started eating fried chicken & watermelon.
From Massawyrm at AICN:
Worst of all, the frightening sidekicks of the film and the mistake this film will most likely be forever known for: Mudflap and Skids, the Stepin Fetchbots of the film. It’s as if Michael Bay looked at Jar Jar Binks and said "Oh, fuck no. Really? People find THAT offensive? Fuck that, I’ll show them a fucking stereotype they’ll never fucking forget!" And he does.
Oh. My. God.
They speak in clichéd urban slang, tossing around phrases like "I’m gonna pop a cap in your ass" while fist bumping and mumbling unintelligently in a voice that sounds like a bad Chappelle Show sketch. Then you get a close up. And they each have bug eyes and a gold tooth. Then there’s this jackass comment about them not being able to read. My jaw was on the floor.
Can stereotypes work in a film? Sure. Anyone who claims stereotypes are never funny, under any circumstances, has obviously never seen 'Blazing Saddles.' To say our cultural idiosyncrasies can't be a source of humor, is not logical. However, the trick is usually whether people feel the filmmakers are getting the audience to laugh at the absurdity of the stereotype, feeding the stereotype to get laughs, or doing a little of both. Usually context is king. I think almost everyone agrees there's a line between offensive & funny, but that line can be very subjective & more a matter of taste at times. So I thought I might review some recent & historical controversies over stereotypes in film. Some I can see where the outrage is coming from, and some I think the complaints are unwarranted. I'll let you be the judge.
One prime example of the use of stereotypes is the best friend/sidekick in most films. Usually, in most stories, the lead character is a beautiful, successful person, who has a best friend. At some point in the story the main character is going to screw-up & make a monumental error. The best friend character is there to be the voice of reason, and offer support.
Some usual stereotypical examples of the best friend archetype are:
- An African-American with attitude that acts as the voice of blunt truth, while also being the comedic relief.
- A flamboyant Gay man, who acts as the voice of blunt truth, while adding a sassy finger snap.
- A nebbishy, neurotic Jew who worries about the actions of the lead character. Also, if it's not clear this best friend is a Jew, the writers usually make it explicit by throwing in a line that references the character's Bar Mitzvah.
- An "ugly" best friend, who really isn't ugly. He or she is just slightly less hot than the lead character. Also, this type of character will likely wear glasses, has a bad haircut or wears their hair in a pony-tail (setting up the scene at the end where they take their hair down & the audience is supposed to realize how hot they really are) since according to Hollywood logic, all ugly people are just a makeover away from being a supermodel.
- The clumsy, fat best friend. He/she is there to be the contrast to the main character. Sort of like the cinematic equivalent of a before & after picture.
The impetus for this diary came from watching a bunch of really shitty action movies with a hell of a lot of bad film cliches, and some of the news connected to the upcoming release of Sacha Baron Cohen's '
Brüno.' According to
E! Online,
GLAAD has some problems with the film.
The big question right now is will Brüno leave audiences laughing with gays or at gays?
GLAAD, the gay media watchdog group, is so concerned about Cohen's depiction of homosexuality in the flick that it asked Universal Pictures, the studio releasing Brüno, to include a message of support for gay rights and tolerance from Cohen at the end of the movie.
The request was denied. "We have very mixed emotions about the movie," said Rashad Robinson, GLAAD's senior director of media programs. "Those of us who saw the film agreed that you can't critique it as a single film because it's more like 90 minutes of individual sketches. Some are funny and hit their mark but others hit the [gay] community instead."
Universal said in statement that Brüno's intent is to challenge people. "Brüno uses provocative comedy to powerfully shed light on the absurdity of many kinds of intolerance and ignorance, including homophobia," the statement said in part.
[But GLAAD's Robinson insists,] "As someone who sat at the back of a focus group audience outside of Los Angeles, I felt they were laughing at us at times."
Now, I have to say up front that I haven't seen the film, so I can't really judge it, but I believe it follows the same format that 'Borat' did. Even though I believe Kazakhstan complained about it, I didn't feel that film was anti-foreigner. According to Cohen, the joke in 'Borat' was not on Kazakhstan or foreigners, but "on people who can believe that the Kazakhstan that I describe can exist."
Last year, there was some similar controversy with 'Tropic Thunder' & Robert Downey, Jr.'s method acting Australian character who spends most of the film in blackface performing an African-American stereotypes. If you've seen the movie, the joke is not directed towards African-Americans, but on the stupidity of a method actor who would base a performance on African-American stereotypes.
I finally saw 'The Hangover', and it is a very, very funny film I would highly recommend, but it's come under criticism as being "offensive." The lines in the movie that had me almost on the floor laughing hysterically was when the Asian Las Vegas crime lord (played by Ken Jeong) jumps out of the trunk of a car, totally buck-naked with a tire-iron, and Zach Galifianakis' plea for mercy consists of.....
"Nobody is going to fuck on you! We're with you! I hate Godzilla! I hate him too! I hate him! He destroys cities!"
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The other criticism the film has been hit with is the depiction of women. In most "
wild-guy-party" comedies, the argument about "
objectifying" women comes up (
I personally believe in objectifying everyone). In truth, (
although it's not quite as prevalent now) a good number of Hollywood films seem to operate under the cliche that attractive woman equals sexy idiot, while ugly woman equals uptight "
bitch" who needs a man. If the female character is blonde, the writers seem to drop the I.Q. even lower.
Jezebel recently had an article where they make an argument against 'The Hangover' that has been leveled against some of Judd Apatow's films, that the female characters are either Mommy figures who are bitter & controlling, or wild party girls.
Ed Helms' character, Stu, is living with a woman played by bespectacled Rachel Harris. She is brunette, and looks Liz Lemony — brainy, successful — so naturally, she is a shrill, cold, shrew who nags and berates him into submission. Once he's in Vegas, Stu's character ends up marrying the blonde, wide-eyed Jade — played by Heather Graham — a hooker with a heart of gold.
One problem with this kind of argument is that it presupposes the male characters are presented as "perfect" or enviable (although, I think if I woke up from a Rohypnol induced stupor married to Heather Graham, I might piss myself silly). In most male comedies (including 'The Hangover'), the male crew is usually composed of characters who fit likable jerk (Bradley Cooper's "Phil"), good natured loser/man-child (Zach Galifianakis' "Alan"), and nerdy pushover (Ed Helm's "Stu") roles. On the other end of this spectrum, there have been arguments that Sarah Jessica Parker's character, Carrie Bradshaw, in "Sex and the City" has Daddy issues, and the character's relationship with "Mr. Big" (Chris Noth) is more paternal than spouse.
About a year ago, NPR had a fascinating article about the effect 'Sixteen Candles' had on Asian males who grew up during the '80s. One quote that stood out to me is where someone argues "Every single Asian dude who went to high school or junior high during the era of John Hughes movies was called 'Donger."
Long Duk Dong wears his hair in what we called a "butt-cut" back in the '80s — parted straight down the middle. He is not one of the cool kids. But he proceeds to have the night of his life: At the high-school dance, he finds romance, gets seriously drunk and ends up in a tree, hollering, "Oh, sexy girlfriend!"
Then he jumps onto the person below — who turns out not to be his new American girlfriend.
By morning, Long Duk Dong — portrayed by actor Gedde Watanabe — lies splayed out in his host family's front yard. When they discover him, the inanity continues: "Oh, no more yanky my wanky," he moans. "The Donger needs food." Those are the greatest hits of "The Donger": No more yanky my wanky ... Oh, sexy girlfriend ... What's happenin', hot stuff?
Oh, and along the way? His every entrance is accompanied, mysteriously, by the sound of a gong.
Although, if you want my vote for worst stereotype, it might be the "Oriental Riff" that used to be played every time an Asian character appeared on-screen, in almost any genre of film. Jay Leno used to have a joke about how they would play that riff on "Bonanza" every time Hop Sing would appear. Although, most Westerns idea of Indians was usually white guys with brown makeup.
'Breakfast at Tiffany's' has one of the most beautiful moments in film ever; Audrey Hepburn singing "Moon River." However, it also has Mickey Rooney as Mr. Yunioshi.
But how far do stereotypes extend? If you look at classic Disney, 'Song of the South' (based on the Uncle Remus stories by Joel Chandler Harris, and the origin of the song "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah") has never been released on home video or DVD in the United States out of concerns about racial insensitivity. 'Dumbo' is a classic in Disney lore & has probably one of the most beautiful yet simple stories, but the "Crows" in the film have been accused of being a racist depiction.
The crows are definitely caricatures, but the counter-argument is that, other than Timothy, they are the only truly kind characters in 'Dumbo.' It is the crows that teach Dumbo how to fly.
When I was a very small kid, I used to watch "Thundercats" in the afternoon. I'm convinced that this show is responsible for the creation of "Furries." Too many damn adolescent boys stuck at home jerking it to Cheetara instead of their father's Playboy. However, one of the other members of the Thundercats crew was Panthro. I don't know why, but I always thought of Panthro as the black member of the team, even though he was a blue-gray cat.
Nearly every Thundercats fan I've talked to regards Panthro as the token minority character. And it's basically true. As hard as it might seem to get a black stereotype into a children's cartoon about a bunch of humanoid cats with Twisted Sister hairdos, they pulled it off. Essentially, Panthro is the 'black guy' of the group. And if you've watched enough cartoons in your day, you'd know that the producers somehow firmly believe that every black guy must talk like a weathered jazz musician who knows how to fix cars, and Panthro's no exception. Also, I'm not sure if I'm right on this or not, but I always considered Panthro the oldest of the group. I'm not sure if that's due to his grand insight, calm and collected outlook on things, or simply because he's bald. Either way, even for a Thundercat, those are some pretty fucking pointy ears.