Everyone has some kind of insecurity, mine are many and mostly related to self image and weight. I'm currently 100 pounds overweight, quite a sum especially when I consider that we were really excited when Charlotte, my daughter, finally passed the 40 pound mark. I have to lose two and a half Charlottes!
I started this journey recently in attempting to change my relationship with food, the issues surrounding food sustainability and our Nation's struggle with obesity. Just last week the latest numbers showed that obesity continues to increase in all fifty states. It's not looking pretty.
And now that I've made it partway through David Kessler's book, The End of Overeating I have more to say about the unbearable weight of being obese. The revelations are startling to say the least.
The most stunning thing about the book is the food industry's push to make more highly palatable, cheaply made foods to make sure we can eat more calories in less time. I don't even frequent many of the places mentioned in the book and when I do, I tend to stay away from the fried foods, etc. (I have a soft spot for California Pizza Kitchen's Japanese eggplant pizza with the whole wheat crust) and usually eat half of what's put in front of me, it's just so much food.
So not only are we eating larger portion sizes but consuming foods that are easier to eat, less chewing (I'm serious, they do this on purpose) so that every bite is more calorie dense and unfortunately much lower in nutritional density. It's the trade off and it's killing us. And these foods are convenient and cheap for many families.
If you've seen Food Inc. you know that the influence of fast food chains is what has radically changed how we grow our food. The lowest common denominator of food sources is dictating quality and choices for more than just those who eat fast food. And the Government subsidies for a small number of crops has pushed us even further into dependence on nutrient poor and cheap sources for our calories. It's a recipe for disaster.
Variety and the overwhelming bountifulness of our foods gives us a false sense of security about our food supply. Food insecurities are more than personal issues and sense of self, it's frightening fact that our system has become so consolidated and so dependent on petroleum that any fluctuation in oil prices has a huge impact on what we pay at grocery stores. And soon enough that cheap oil is going to go away.
Then what?
Well, this is what I'm looking to learn about, peak oil and food. I'm starting my first environmental class this week and ecstatic. The projects are creating themselves as I ask questions and try to make connections and I'm seeing, more and more, that my lay off in April has been the beginning and the end.
I will lose this weight, it will just take time and patience. But it won't be because of shame and insecurity, it will be about empowering myself and learning to be more connected to my food and where it comes from (My husband and I are probably going to join a CSA, community supported agriculture). I'm going to help create a community garden in my city and try to change chicken ordinances. I also plan on being involved in various non-profit efforts to talk about all these issues.
But it's not just the obese who have to change, we all have to think about how we get our food and how we relate to each other as a community. Assumptions don't help anyone and they are hurtful. I hope to educate my daughter not just about her food but about why people are overweight and how to broach the subject with compassion and understanding, not judgment and harshness.
This incident has stayed with me and probably will never leave my overall sense of self. I went to Coldstone with friends and family. It's definitely one of those ultimate indulgences and one that I don't partake in often. I always order a child size portion as well, it's so rich, so good that I don't need anymore.
So I'm waiting in line with my much slimmer friend in front of me. She orders the same way I plan on ordering and asks for a child's size. The whole thing goes rather smoothly and then I ask the same young woman for a child's size portion. She pauses and asks me, "You do know that it's just one scoop, right?"
My heart sank. Yes I knew that.
There have been a handful of incidences like this that have pushed me further into insecurity, but no more. I can empower myself and educate others. And if it had happened now, I probably would have included a lecture instead of a non-existent tip.