Ok, so I'm reading Pluto's rec-listed diary and at first, I'm really angry. "The selfishness!!!!" I think to myself. I wonder WTF is this doing on the rec list, am I in some Twilight Zone DKos?
I start reading the comments and I'm absolutely shocked to read comments congratulating him on escaping the horror that is America and other comments asking for advice. I fire off a comment and add a 6th hide rate to his Tip Jar. Honestly, I just couldn't fathom how exactly his diary fit into the mandate of this site. I mean... if we all left, then no better democrats would get elected and this counry could become the anti-science, anti-government, anti-choice, christianist haven that so many of our nutbags want.
And then it hit me! THE BRILLIANCE THAT IS PLUTO LEAVING! I must say, I was completely mistaken and now realize exactly what must be done.
If we all follow Pluto, we can make our very own country! I mean, it's like making a "shiny new party", only easier! So, I'm imagining that Pluto was planning on going to an actual country. That's not going to work if we're all going to move, so we need a place that is large enough to accomodate us, but doesn't have any other people living there. I'm really drawing a blank on this part of the plan and I'm counting on you guys to help me out with suggestions.
UPDATE WIds suggested the planet Pluto for our relocation. I love this idea. Any volunteers to build our spaceship?
Assuming we find a suitable place, we start leaving it all behind and moving there. We've got doctors, scientists, farmers, educators, engineers and every other type you might possibly need to build a new country, so we are good there. Pluto doesn't want to go, but we kidnap Pluto anyway because Pluto is the symbol of our new country. We also invite progressives from other countries to join us. We design a nifty little purity test, to make sure we don't let the wrong type in. We start attracting people from all over the world and through hard work and wishful thinking, we've got our dream country.
Unfortunately, this is where I hit another snag in the plan and need your help once again. It seems as if we were a little too successful at recruiting progressive people and the rest of the world has gone a little insane. The "Jesus rode a dinosaur" president of the United States declared war on Iran after the Iranian president made an unfortunate joke, singing "Bomb, Bomb America" in Iranian to the tune of a popular Iranian song. Germany has a new President from the Nazi Party. Britain has occupied France. China has invaded Taiwan. Japan has closed to all foreigners and we have no idea wtf they're doing. South Korea decided to preemptively nuke North Korea. The list goes on an on. The worst part is they ALL hate us. Suggestions?
Come on! I'm counting on you to figure this out and I know you won't let me down. Long live Progressaria!