From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Well. Another subscription year of Cheers and Jeers has come and gone, and it's time to rattle the 'ol tin cup again.
For those of you who are new'ish here: two years ago, after I lost my regular job and posted a "Ta Ta for Now" update, the Daily Kos community initiated a mind meld, took up a collection and, in Kos's words, "bought my soul." C&J, which originally began in 2003 as a way to alleviate boredom at my previous job---and a way to keep my sanity during Bush's reign of error, now being conveniently whitewashed and/or swept under the carpet a little more with each passing day---became a new self-employment-tax revenue stream for Uncle Sam, and darned if I don’t feel like a better American for it. Instead of having two Republican bosses, I now have hundreds of Democratic ones. On the one hand, you're much nicer. On the other hand, my hemp cubicle makes me sneeze. (Not that I'm complaining—I love sneezing! I love sneezing!)
Now that our second Kossack-funded year has ended, I think it's appropriate that I attach a list of my accomplishments on your behalf in the hopes that you will consider throwing some spare change and/or credit default swaps my way for a third:
[This is embarrassing. Kinkos says their main printer broke down so I don't have the attachment yet. They promise they'll have it fixed by Thursday morning. Friday evening tops. But you'll love it---the paper stock has little Al Gores all around the edges.]
I did take one sick day this year, a few weeks off for "fact-finding junkets," and one mental health day to recover from Bob Barker's 2007 departure from The Price is Right (that kinda snuck up on me). Plus we co-sponsored Netroots for the Troops, served as a welcome hut for new Kossacks to get their feet wet and, as always, mocked the people who put greed and stupidity and lust and power and dishonesty above country. [Whap!!!] Shame on them.
If you're in the mood to keep C&J going for another year, I'd be honored to slip a fresh diaper on my head and fresh ink ribbons on my monkeys' typewriters.
Two years ago Kos was kind enough to set up PayPal accounts for both one-time donations and recurring monthly donations. (If you're already a monthly subscriber through PayPal and you want to continue, you don’t have to do anything.) I'm keeping my overall goal the same ($50k). The recurring monthly subscriptions are hugely helpful for minimizing the total needed during this "pledge week," so we're looking to raise $25k. Here's the linkys:
One time contribution: click here
$5 monthly contribution: click here
$10 monthly contribution: click here
$20 monthly contribution: click here
To send a check via snail mail, the address is:
Bill Harnsberger, 16 Pitt Street, Portland, ME, 04103.
I'll give you fundraising progress reports daily. Hopefully we can hit the goal by Friday and I'll stop pestering you for an entire year. (PBS can't even make that promise!) But only donate if you're able to do so without having to sell the Rolls.
In all seriousness: Thank you, thank you, thank you for supporting my writing. And if it doesn’t work out this time, I'll refund your money and in all likelihood go back to saturating the airwaves in all 50 states with ads and infomercials for sex pills, colon cleansers, Kabbalah water (look it up), miracle hair tonic and my AMAZING three-step toxic asset wealth-building system. If you think Glenn Beck is obnoxious...
[He let the unfinished sentence hang in the air and padded off to the kitchen to boil an egg.]
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Note: ... Buffering ...
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Festivus: 85
Days `til the Damariscotta Pumpkinfest: 5
Rank of Ted Kennedy's autobiography on the New York Times nonfiction bestseller list: #1
Percent of Americans who say their personal finances have been changed forever as a result of the recession: 63%
Percent who say they'll return to their pre-recession spending and saving patterns: 29%
(Source: Hart Research Associates)
Decrease in IQ of children aged 2-4 and 5-9 who are spanked by their parents: 2.8-5 points
(Source: International Conference of Violence, Abuse and Trauma via the Portland Press Herald)
Rank of the U.S. among the world's most peaceful countries, according to the 2009 Global Peace Initiative: 83
(Source: Harper's Index)
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
With the disgrace in the White House surrounded by his unwashed street scum and tax cheats, anything is possible under the current political conditions!!
Look at the garbage that was just appointed to our Supreme Court!!
Need I say more??
---Commenter "SermfromtheMount" at Red State
All together now: One...two...three... Classy!!!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: I'm feeling generous today, so take your pick.
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CHEERS to committee commotion. Tuesday! Tuesday!! TUESDAY!!! Today Chuck "Boomer" Schumer and Jay "Rock 'Em Sock 'Em" Rockefeller tagteam against the Big-Pharma-loving Senate Finance Committee goons by introducing an amendment to include a public option in its health care reform bill. Says Robert Reich:
Big Pharma and big insurance hate the public insurance option even more than they hate big Medicare discounts. ... But the public option lives on, nonetheless. It's still in the Senate Health, Education, Labor, and Pension bill. It still headlines the House bills, and Speaker Nancy Pelosi says she's still committed to it. The latest Times/CBS poll shows 65 percent of the public in favor of it.
Now, Schumer and Rockefeller are introducing a public option amendment in the Senate Finance Committee. Carper, Menendez, Baucus, and other Dems on the Committee should vote for it, or be forced to pay a price if they don't.
Howard Dean said last night on Countdown that green-lighting the public option would save Americans roughly a trillion dollars. I don't pretend to know if that's entirely accurate (my dog ate my spreadsheets), but I do know that he's been right on just about everything for the seven years I've been following him. So, to all the Dems on the committee: replace the ice in your veins with real blood---which I'm sure your health care plan covers---and choose wisely. Let the Republicans be the heartless pricks---they're better at it, anyway.
CHEERS to [yawn] just another day on the terrorism beat. I can't keep track of all the terrorist plots that the Obama administration has thwarted (three last week?), but it sure is nice seeing law enforcement working calmly and coolly to scoop up the suspects once they've observed them long enough to have a provable case. The color-coded threat level hasn’t budged, there haven’t been any strident "You're either with us or against us" speeches by the Vice President, and to my knowledge we have no plans to invade a country that had nothing to do with the plots. John Cole at Balloon Juice takes note of how quietly efficient it all seems:
These seem to me to be success stories, and real threats (unlike that one group of clowns in Queens a couple months ago). I also like how they are sort of taking it in stride and not having big, showy press conferences with Eric Holder trying to scare the shit out of us.
Yeah. That's Wall Street's job now.
JEERS to fiery fallic symbols. Ooh, Iran, we're so impressed that you can fill a tube with fuel and launch it into the sky. How very 1950s of you. Whatever. Just understand that if you ever launch them, like, for real, your country will likely cease to exist. Have a nice day. (Hugs to the mullahs!)
CHEERS to teachable moments for Joe the Plumber. Hey Joe! You got it all wrong, man. If you really want to be a force for change, you gotta get out of the toilet-clog business and think BIG! Here, lemme show ya: Poland's Lech Walesa turns 66 today. He kicked communism's ass and went on to become president of his country and even a Nobel Prize winner. And you know what Lech is, Joe? He's not a petulant plumber...he's a humble electrician. That's gotta sting a bit.
CHEERS to a li'l recognition. President Obama has no intention of repealing "Don’t Ask Don’t Tell" or DOMA or anything else related to teh gays anytime soon...but at a bare minimum he's at least talking the talk, like he did yesterday for Family Day:
American families from every walk of life have taught us time and again that children raised in loving, caring homes have the ability to reject negative behaviors and reach their highest potential. Whether children are raised by two parents, a single parent, grandparents, a same-sex couple, or a guardian, families encourage us to do our best and enable us to accomplish great things.
Very nice. And what better way to allow families to accomplish great things than by giving them equal rights across the board. I know, I know...let's not get crazy.
JEERS to Black Monday. Let's not forget how scary things got one year ago. From the C&J time machine:
HOLY SHIT! to September 29, 2008. I always thought when something stopped at "777" it meant we won something. Yesterday it meant America lost $1.1 trillion in market value in seven hours. So what to do? For me, it's baby steps. Really, really easy stuff I can do without thinking: 1) Feed cat. 2) Put on socks. 3) Remove cat food from feet. 4) Remove sock from cat's head. Okay, so maybe I'll just sit quietly and grind my teeth for awhile.
I remember feeling actual terror that day, and al Qaeda had nothing to do with it. George Bush was right: oceans can't protect us. From ourselves.
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Five years ago in C&J: September 29, 2004
CHEERS to "Ilunga." That's the most untranslatable word in the world according to linguists. It's a Bantu word that means---in the Tshiluba tongue---"a person ready to forgive any abuse the first time, to tolerate it a second time, but never a third time." Or, as George W. Bush would say, "Fool me once, shame on...shame on me. Fool me...can't get fooled again." (Which, by the way, is the most untranslatable phrase to the Tshilubas.)
CHEERS to funnymen on the move. Conan O'Brien will take over the reins at the `Tonight' show in 2009, replacing Jay Leno. At which point we'll finally have a reason to watch it again.
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And just one more...
CHEERS to sneaking in under the wire. Don’t forget that the big Netroots Nation online auction ends tonight at 10 ET. As of late last night the top items included lunch with Nate Silver, a front-row table for Netroots Nation 2010 in Las Vegas, a Netbook autographed by Howard Dean, a LiveStrong ball cap autographed by Lance Armstrong, and that fabulous "Neatness Isn’t Everything" poster signed by Barney Frank. So far the bids total over $12,000---the money will be spent for regional NN events and also to help keep the registration price as low as possible for the Vegas event in July. Not to play favorites with you, east coasters, but...this would be a good time to sneak in and snag some top bids while the west coasters are still sawin' logs. [Memo to self: remove that sentence when west coasters start booting up.]
Oh...mah...gawd!!! Babs is back and she's still got a voice like buttah! I'm too verklempt to speak. Tawk amongst yahselves, I'll give you a topic: Facebook is neither a face nor a book. Discuss! Floor's Open...what are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial (and this one's real!):
Because I once worked in Dee Cee, I'm asked every month or so if "I've met Bill yet." I've not, but admit to perhaps adding to his legend. Let's just say if some people believe he's a Buddhist Monk writing from the basement of Gritty's pub, where a vortex leads to another reality where Dean didn't do the Jamie Lee Curtis impression and health care was solved years ago, well, I don't know what you're talking about.
---Curtis Robinson, The Portland Daily Sun
9/26/09.
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