He still rattles his chains, spreading terror and rumors and innuendo ... but he hasn't shot anyone in the face for a while...
On behalf of the United States Constitution, in reverence for this nation's founders and all that they intended, give me wisdom and understanding, I attack this cruel evil spirit.
I exorcise you, Most Unclean Spirit! All Spirits! Every one of you! In defense of our nation's constitution against all of its enemies foreign and domestic.
Leave us, Liar! Maligner! The darkness of your dank bunker, your undisclosed locations, are your natural unnatural home. The serpent is your dwelling. Be humiliated and cast down. For even though you have deceived men, you cannot make a mockery of the Constitution.
I do battle against principalities and powers, against the rulers of the world of darkness, against the spirits of wickedness and profit above all else, I do this in the name of the people...
Be no longer present that you, great fat worm of evil, may no longer mislead the public and do injury to the nation. Be gone, worm, old serpent which is the devil and Satan, be bound and cast back into the bottomless wormhole that you may no longer seduce this nation.
In the name of the people of the United States of America that they may safely pursue life, liberty, justice and happiness, that the name of this nation shine forth among nations untarnished, unblemished...
Be gone, foul, fat, loathsome worm!
So Mote It Be!
This do in the darking of the moon following the Blue Moon of December, 2009, 'twill be the time to start the banishment. Ye have about fourteen days, through January 14.
If that faileth, attempt again from the last day of January til St. Valentine's eve, should fail again, do not send the evil spirit a Valentine.
Again, from the first day of March til the Eve of the Ides, perchance the approaching Ides will do the job.
But, 'tis a most evil spirit and it may take much more than the Ides to quell its evil wandering...
Then, it must be from the last day of March till the eve of Tax Day ... surely Tax Day will finish off the old man...
But, if still ye fail, 'tis the 29th day of April through the thirteenth day of May to bring it about. May 13 be a most unlucky number for the spirit.
Failing that, the 28th of May through the eleventh day of June.
Do not despair at Midsummer if yet ye have failed.
Then, June 27th through the tenth day of July.
Failing, July 27th through the ninth of August.
Still failing, August 25 through the Seventh Day of the Seventh Month of the Old Calendar. Surely, this will do the trick...
If proved to be the odious spirit of its reputation, try again from September 24th through the sixth of October.
Again failing, October 24th through November 5.
Your last attempt this year could only be from November 22 through December 4.
May Our Lord and Lady by then grant us joy to dance near the Yule Log or 'round the Solstice bonfire...
Will we finally rid ourselves of the unclean and demonic spirit of Richard Bruce Cheney before the Earth reaches this point again in its revolution 'round the sun?