I first discovered this telegraph relay club in 1904. Heady days, those. Flush with Teddy Roosevelt's promises of trust-busting and Square Deals, I joined with the rest of you in my hearty "Huzzahs!"
Now, it seems as though a shadow has fallen upon our youthful dreams of reform. Far from repudiating McKinley's imperialistic dreams, Teddy has taken up the white man's burden with a vengeance. It is as though he sits in the White House daily asking himself, WWMcKD?
Looking at what scant sops he's tossed to the true progressive base, it is a richness of embarrassments. Oh, I hear you cry already, "What of the Court? Where would we be today had Old Bill been able to appoint another McKenna?"
But what, the question is begged, is the real difference between them? Can you honestly say today that Oliver Wendell Holmes, that dashed centrist dastard, will fare any better in the eyes of history?
I am proud to say I was a Bryan supporter back before the Oughts. Oh, I know I'll get flamed mercilessly for it, but the purity of his passion was only borne out by the result when McK ascended. The pleasure I gain from saying, "So! So I told thee" more than makes up for what Terrible William wrought.
And, honestly, what is Teddy but another Will McK? Sure, he says he'll side with us against the trusts, he'll keep the wild spaces protected and use our might wisely, but I trust him not. Can you not see the wolf for his sheep's cloth?
Well, I, for one, am not deceived. He's a politician and no more, and all politicians are devils at heart.
I've had enough of Teddy and I've surely had enough of Kos' Illustrated Review. So, with ill will toward none, I must bid a final farewell.
Perchance I shall return. Perchance, some day, our country will embrace a leader worthy of my support.
That Wilson fellow's promising. I wager he'll keep us out of war, at least.