"I saw him, I saw him [Hopfinger] brutally push one of our workers into a locker" said William Fulton, head of DropZone security. "We had to cuff him to prevent his wild rampage!"
The Anchorage Police dept rightfully asked to speak with the victim of such a heinous assault.
"Oh my God" cried Fulton " the locker must be a portal to another dimension!"
"So you are not sure where the alledged victim is sir?" asked Sgt. Mark Rein.
"Oh yes we do....but the Jabberwocky ate him" replied Fuller.
"The Jabberwocky?" questioned Sgt Rein "Just let me radio for some back up."
"Maybe not the Jabberwocky ... but the Red Queen is definitely involved" Fulton retorted as his eyes began to spin.
"So Sarah Palin is involved?" questioned the now thoroughly confused Sgt Rein.
"Oh Jesus she is not... Is she?" said the now panicking Fulton.
"Please calm down sir, we are sure she is not on the premises" Sgt Rein assured.
"I'm a little teapot short and stout" affirmed Fulton.
Sgt. Mark Rein, who wrote the report, said: "Fulton then said that he wanted to make an arrest for assault because Hopfinger pushed a man into a locker. I asked him to let me talk to this person. Fulton said that he didn't know who it was, but that he would find him. I gave Fulton 10 minutes to find the unknown assault victim, but none was forthcoming."
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/...
In another ongoing Acid Test Joe Miller stated:
"I am running on my record but nobody is allowed to know what that is...help...spiders"
William Fulton has now confirmed:
"DropZone have the contract to protect Mr Miller from the Spiders from Mars, Ziggy Stardust we can handle; but we are not going down any rabbit holes"
.